Explosion levels church, kills eight, and it's a miracle because...

A presumed natural gas explosion killed eight people, injured dozens of others and leveled two buildings in East Harlem, New York on Wednesday. The evangelical Spanish Christian Church occupied the first floor and basement of one building. 

Yesterday, firefighters digging through the rubble found a water-damaged Bible. Congregation members called it a miracle that the waterlogged Bible did not burn.

“I thank God,” said Carmen Vargas-Rosa, secretary of the church. “It was wonderful. I really didn’t think that anything that was paper would survive.”

The church pastor, Rev. Thomas Perez, was so overwhelmed upon being presented with the Bible that he had chest pains and was taken to a hospital.

So an explosion completely destroys the church and leaves eight people dead including five parishioners. But a damaged Bible is pulled from the debris so it's a miracle from God.

Praise His holy name!

Tags: East, Harlem, bible, explosion, gas

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I swear, they have to find something good to praise Jeebus about in everything horrible. 

This phone should have disintegrated but it's still intact! It's a miracle! (Nevermind the thousands that died)

She was rescued and saved! It's a miracle! (Nevermind that it was 20 years and several incestual children later)

Praise that this child was saved! (Nevermind that he is completely brain dead and will never live even close to a normal life again)

*Facepalm* Just no...

I'm trying to imagine how this works in their minds in terms of God's attitude, but I always come up with the same kind of scenario. It goes like this:

Jesus: [Sends a twister to level a town and kill 17 people.]
Believers: "Thank you, Jesus!"     <--------direct quote.
Jesus: Anytime, bitches! [Laughs]

Hahaha... He's a real sadistic bastard isn't he? And his believers are more than happy to fall for it every time!

To quote George Carlin:  "But he loves you!"

"But he loves you!"

That's the carrot on the stick that's dangling over the fire pit of doom!

Hahaha... He's a real sadistic bastard isn't he? And his believers are more than happy to fall for it every time!

It kinda reminds me of...

Nice.

Everybody's takeaway is a little bit different, isn't it? One enjoys swinging the paddle, one enjoys receiving it (unless he's lying). Most are spectators. 

This is how they were taught to make sense of the world...

Perhaps there is some "Holy shit, glad it wasn't me' mentality at work here.

If the Earth spontaneously combusted ... I really hope that a bible survives floating in space ... because it would be proof that miracles still happen.

Lone Astronaut in space: Praise be that the Lord spared me while annihilating the entire planet! And look... He even spared this bible specifically for me! Hallelujah!

Um... [he continues thinking] where the hell am I going to get more oxygen?

I know!  I'll just pray for some!

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