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Permalink Reply by Dave G on February 16, 2011 at 2:04pm

Talk about a fertile field. Should we start with the fact that the global flood never happened? How about the fact that bats are not birds? Or maybe that you can't breed a striped goat by making it's parent look at striped sticks?

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Permalink Reply by Aaron A on February 16, 2011 at 10:43pm

Thanks for this.

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Permalink Reply by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on February 16, 2011 at 3:00pm

Tell her to clear her mind and read the bible from cover to cover pretending it's a regular book and not a holy book and then come back to you and tell you what she thought.

 

The problem with many inerracists is that they either don't read the bible the way they would read a normal book... or they don't read the whole bible but only the parts recommended in apologist books and church.

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Permalink Reply by Mega Zeus Thor on February 16, 2011 at 3:04pm

This is a useful link: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/index.htm

Click on the right side for categories

 

I would ask, if you have Adam and Eve, how would would you get a world wide population from those 2 people. Make her explain which brother and sister had children together. How did we get different ethnic backgrounds in 6,000 years?

 

The same incest questions can be brought up for the large animals in Noah's ark. How did we get more giraffes? The logistics are ugly.

 

(I'm really glad this stuff is all made up. I wouldn't want to have to explain and justify it.)

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Permalink Reply by Galen on February 16, 2011 at 10:48pm

How did we get different ethnic backgrounds in 6,000 years?

 

The Tower of Babel story is the Bible's explanation for that.  Basically, ancient Babylonians tried to build a tower to reach Heaven.  God was afraid they could actually do it, so he had a tantrum and knocked the whole thing down like a Jenga tower and scattered everyone to different lands, making them different colors and speaking different languages so that they could never again come together to reach him.

 

Basically, God said "Fuck yo tower, bitches!  *BAM* Now let's see you get up here!  BWAHAHAHAHA!"

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Permalink Reply by Aaron A on February 16, 2011 at 10:48pm

haha good point. This is what makes me so angry about religion these days. We have smart, intellectual, good people walking Earth that still believe in this ancient mythology. It's sad and has to change. Horrible....

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Permalink Reply by John Lindsey on February 16, 2011 at 3:06pm

There is always dinosaurs fossils being by far older than the biblical account of the age of the earth. Just be prepared for "God put them there to test our faith" or how Jesus really rode into Jerusalem on a triceratops arguments.

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Permalink Reply by Violet Chartreuse on February 16, 2011 at 3:19pm

And God must've started the lights from distant stars and galaxies shining in our direction before he created the Earth.

That reminds me of one of my favorite satirical videos by Edward Current.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkhQLt1vbWU

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Permalink Reply by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on February 16, 2011 at 3:25pm

As answer to the "bonus" here you go [this is only a small sample]

[Although she'll probably dismiss it and explain it away.]

Leviticus 21:

21:9 And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father:she shall be burnt with fire.

[If a priests daughter is found without an intact hyieman then she shall be burned alive]

 

21:18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,

21:19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,

21:20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;

[No one with a disability can go to church or be in the presence of god]

Deuteronomy:

22: 23 - 24:

If an engaged woman is raped in the city and doesn't scream loud enough to be heard, she must be put to death.

 

22: 28 - 29:

 

If a man rapes a woman that is not betrothed and is a virgin then he must pay her father 50 sheckles of silver and marry her for he has humbled her.

 

Numbers 31: Moses throws a fit because his soldiers did not kill the women and children of Midian and then orders all the male children and the "women who have known a man" put to death and says that all the "virgins" [which at the time would probably have been pre-pubescent little girls] could be taken by his soldiers "for your own use." [Made into prostitot sex slaves]

 

Judges 19: A bunch of men gather outside an old man's door demanding a traveling Levite man lodging there be given to them for gang rape. The old man tells them not to do that. And then the Levite throws his concubine to the mob who "abused and knew her all the night" and then bleeding and broken she crawled back to the house where they were staying and died on the doorstep. The Levite took her body and cut it into pieces and sent these pieces to ever tribe of Israel.

 

Judges 11: A man of the Lord named Jephthah promises that if God gives him success in battle he will offer the first thing he sees upon coming home as a burnt sacrifice to God. He wins the battle and then comes home. His daughter is the first thing he sees, so he offers her as a human sacrifice to God.

 

Mark 13:17 - God will be cruel to Pregnant women in the last days

Mark 7: 9 - 10 - Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as the law of moses commands them to.

1 Corinthians 11: 5 - 9

If a woman prays or speaks the word of God with her head uncovered, then her head must be shaved because man is made in God's image and woman is not.

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Permalink Reply by Aaron A on February 16, 2011 at 10:49pm

Bonus points! weeee.

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Permalink Reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on February 16, 2011 at 6:12pm

I think this was once posted on this site but here is a copy.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

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Permalink Reply by John Lindsey on February 16, 2011 at 6:21pm

That is probably the best thing I have read all day!

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