Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Chris Clark on March 7, 2013 at 11:20am

It does bother me, but people worry about others in their own way. If you make it known to people that their particular way of worrying about you is wrong, it just makes you an asshole.

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Permalink Reply by Connor Hughes on March 7, 2013 at 11:20am

No, I try not to let it bother me, to me it's like saying to a t-totaller ill j have a drink for you. It's not insulting. I don't know.

Ultimately its not worth getting upset about there is no harm in it. It's just empty words

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Permalink Reply by Ken Fredrick on March 7, 2013 at 1:40pm

If it's after a religious debate in which I've bested them and that's their end argument,  I just say, "That's just like masturbating.  It might make you feel good, but it doesn't do anything for me".

But in other cases, I just say thank you.

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Permalink Reply by Judith van der Roos on March 8, 2013 at 11:35am

Ken that is excellent ! I am going to keep my vibrator with me at all times and say that to them and then add, as i take my my vibe out of my bag....." Excuse me a few minutes, i am just going to find a little privacy !" Their faces would be so worth it !
Regards,
Judith vd R

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Permalink Reply by Scot Kveton on March 8, 2013 at 11:47am

Thank you for that Ken

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Permalink Reply by Tom Pep on March 7, 2013 at 2:00pm

I consider it false sincerity, there is no altruism involved, what they are saying is "God look at me, I'm praying for this person, I am good"; it's a selfish act not a selfless act.

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Permalink Reply by Karl Mugele on March 8, 2013 at 1:50pm

Good point Tom - "devout" religion exactly was a cloak showing how good an ex-girlfriend's son was to the world...even though he was as bad if not worse than anyone else.

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Permalink Reply by Kairan Nierde on March 7, 2013 at 2:50pm

Usually when people tell me that I can sense from their tone and the context that they mean it more along the lines of 'I want the best for you. I care about you.' It's a very easy way to express concern, support, or love without getting too personal and emotional. This doesn't bother me.

On the other hand, it does irritate me in certain circumstances because it can also be a pretty handy cop-out of actually providing tangible support.  Sometimes I feel like saying, "really? you could pray for me...or you could offer to support me in a way that could actually benefit me.  Also, it's ok to say, 'hey, that sucks and I wish things were different for you.'"

Mainly I feel awkward when people do this because I have to come up with a response that is appropriate. If they mean well, I usually want to express gratitude but not in a way that legitimizes prayer.  It's a bit of a balancing act. I hear this a lot at work, where I am in the atheist closet, so at those times I get a little cranky about having to do extra verbal acrobatics while covering my ass.

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Permalink Reply by JP Prater on March 7, 2013 at 11:29pm

"you could pray for me...or you could offer to support me in a way that could actually benefit me."

I kicked up a lot of s*** once by saying this to someone. 

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Permalink Reply by Belle Rose on March 8, 2013 at 8:40am

Sometimes I feel like saying, "really? you could pray for me...or you could offer to support me in a way that could actually benefit me. 

I FEEL YOU girl!!! So many people have said that to me lately and yet NONE of them have stepped in to help me. Sad state of affairs. It sometimes feels like a good way to brush me off and not get involved while still wanting to appear concerned about me.

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Permalink Reply by archaeopteryx on March 8, 2013 at 1:47pm

RE: "It sometimes feels like a good way to brush me off and not get involved while still wanting to appear concerned about me."

If you don't mind a mixed metaphor, I think you've nailed it in a nutshell.

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Permalink Reply by jan mckay on March 7, 2013 at 3:58pm

I find it incredibly arrogant if coming from a complete stranger. I was in the park with my 8 year old son and was approached by a catholic missionary, when I expressed no desire for a conversation and told her I was an atheist  she looked at my son sadly and said " But you have such a lovely boy, I will pray for you both".

I thanked her and said " And I will read The God Delusion on your behalf.  Thankfully she then left and that was that.

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