This is an interesting question that I have always pondered to myself, do I have to marry an atheist? Although I have never dated an atheist (not many) I have always dated non-religious secular people - but none that would call themselves an atheist as they still had a vague belief in god at the minimum. I have always said to myself that I will probably want to marry a Persian - but someone like myself who was raised in America and who is not religious and who definitely does not identify themselves as a Muslim - but I would rather marry an atheist but I don't know how many of them are out there - and why Persian as I have dated mostly non-Persian? A lot of people I have dated have been non-Persian but maybe simply so that my children don't forget who their parents were and subsequently my grandchildren not forgetting who their parents were so that my eventual legacy is passed down through generations...but that is a negotiable point but not put in stone as of yet but it is more of an "ideal" I would like to have....
But to the main point - do you have to eventually marry an atheist or would you marry a non-religious secularist (as I would consider) or even someone more religious? Just interested as to what you would say..
I was a catholic and my husband was a sikh when we were married....but now we're both atheists....I don't know if subconsciously we knew going into our relationship we were ready for a change or if we just got lucky. My husband was alot more resistant to the idea of no god in the beginning but seeing how happy and uncomplicated it made things for me he soon let his guard down and started questioning his own faith. I know this doesn't answer your question but it's my personal experience. As for you wanting to marry someone the same race as you, I'd have to say being married to someone from a different culture has been the best experience of my life and my husbands. And my children will always know where they come from....
A similar question was asked to me by a fellow atheist a couple of years ago. It was not something I'd thought about before and it was at a time when I'd only just rejected my previously held Christian beliefs. I came to the conclusion that I would find it hard to be in a relationship with someone who held strong religious views but not impossible, and I still think that's the case today. I think I'd find it hard not because of a different outlook on life but because for me intelligence is a very important factor and although there are intelligent religious people, having a strong religious view always makes me question that intelligence. A couple of weeks after my friend had asked me this question he started dating a Christian girl and it became clear why he had asked the question, they are still together and very happy which proves an atheist-Christian bond can work.
I agree with Graham, it's who you love. You've got to be able to appreciate their worldview though, if you're going to be sharing your life with them. Rationality is a great quality to look for. Even if a person has certain beliefs, if they're rational about them it's way easier to respect them. Engage in conversation, and I think it should be stimulating not frustrating!
Have to? No. Is it probably a good idea? Probably so.
Only after a lot of Carbondatting first :-)
No, you don't have to marry an Atheist. There are plenty of mixed relationships that are working just fine. Differing theological opinion need not be a road block if both parties are understanding and respectful. In fact, I'm married to a Wiccan. Surprisingly, one of the reasons she felt comfortable starting a relationship with me was because I am an Atheist. She comes from a Catholic family (as do I) so she felt that I'd be understanding of the fact that she had some 'different' thoughts on theology. Although, there are some details where we don't agree, it has never gotten in the way of our relationship. It is nice that we can have long discussions about science or the Abrahamic religions and see pretty much eye-to-eye though. So it can work, it just depends on how understanding the parties involved are.
I think the institution of marriage is over. - in the traditional sense of the word as evident by the number of divorces. It would be interesting to see if arranged married couples are more content than couples who find a spouse on their own. Getting along with the in-laws is as important as getting along with the spouse.
I don't plan on marrying at all honestly, but I could see myself with someone religious as long as they know religion is a personal decision and not something that the world MUST follow. Also if i plan on having children with this person, i would never by no means allow them to enforce their religious beliefs on our kids.
I don't habitat well with others.
Nope, wouldn't marry an atheist, that is another story 'or discussion' but I could only live with an Atheist. Couldn't live with a xian, and couldn't call one 'my best friend'.
On both counts, friends or partners, they have to think alike. Love does not conquer all. Respect is my key, logic, civility. Chemistry, goes without saying, but I just couldn't respect anybody that believes in a sky ghost that comes from a book written by herdsmen.
For Eric, was your ex xian. I have also been there done that, and would never marry again,
Marriage is man constructed, and in the end, doesn't mean anything, as by the divorce rate, and the number of people now living de facto. People generally, marry too quickly, without really knowing who 'they' are', let alone somebody else. I have been in this relationship for 23 years - and still love him to bits - and both atheists.