Do Opossum Go To Heaven?

The last time he came in here I threw him out and told him not to come back.

Well he came back and now he's dead.

Wasn't there a movie a while ago "All Dogs go to Heaven"?

So now the question is do Opossum get to go too?

Tomorrow I will have to open the floor and fix the bullet holes in the plumbing, I think the nasty thing should go straight to HELL!

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Permalink Reply by Davis Goodman on May 14, 2017 at 7:45am

Only animals that a human being really cared about go to heaven. The rest burn for eternity for the sin of having been born. Your opossum will be torched forever. Does that make you happy?

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on May 15, 2017 at 12:40pm

@Davis:

"Does that make you happy?"

Yes, very much. Thank you.

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Permalink Reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on May 14, 2017 at 4:53pm

I think that any god that would create a species with a forked penis because his partner has a double vagina can only go to hell, which I am sure you have been telling it to do. It is only higher mammals, like monkeys, that get to go to Heaven.

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Permalink Reply by Daniel W. on May 14, 2017 at 9:55pm

Seems to me that if the female has a double vagina, the only right thing to do is give the male a forked penis. On the other hand, I don't know what to say about ducks having corkscrew penises. Doesn't seem right.

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on May 15, 2017 at 12:51pm

@Daniel W.:

"I don't know what to say about ducks having corkscrew penises."

Now a corkscrew penis is the kind of erectile dis-function I rather have instead of this limp penis thing. Now I hate doG.

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on May 15, 2017 at 12:56pm

@ Reg:

I think "the doG" created the Opossum as a joke, maybe "the doG" should think about changing jobs, he's not very good at the one he's got.

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Permalink Reply by Pope Beanie on May 14, 2017 at 8:00pm

So you drowned it?!

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on May 15, 2017 at 2:31pm

@Da' Pope:

"So you drowned it?!"

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. No I shot him 8 times with a silenced 22' pistol. Which resulted in broken plumbing.

Opossum died from what appears to be a drive-by shooting, as his dead, bullet ridden carcass was found in the middle of the Hwy next to my house.

The next morning he apparently had crawled back over to the edge of the Highway but has received additional injuries from vehicle tires. :D

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Permalink Reply by Pope Beanie on May 18, 2017 at 4:04pm

Ah, I read it wrong, thinking he/she was under the house and next to plumbing when nailed. This is how myths begin, like about the one recently seen dragging a cross down the road. (Gray, 2-1/2 feet long nose-to-tail, trudging along with a pronounced limp, constantly glancing up at the sky?)

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Permalink Reply by Daniel W. on May 14, 2017 at 9:58pm

The only heaven I want to go to, is where my dog winds up. I don't think there is a heaven for them either, but if there is, that's where I want to be.

I agree that possums are vile looking creatures, but then maybe to them, humans are vile looking creatures. It's all perspective. Each year, a possum gets into my grape arbor and eats all of the grapes. Ugly and mean.

I guess, as marsupials, possums were around long before the rest of us mammals. That's no excuse.