The idea that there is a perfect match out there for everyone seems to be nonsense to me. Where is the evidence for this? And even if it were true that doesn't necessarily mean you will find that person. Maybe they are on the other side of the world, maybe they haven't been born yet or maybe they are dead - who knows. In the end we can settle for and love a person, but it's often far from a perfect soulmate.
And another thing -- when somone says "you will definitely meet someone eventually" or "there is someone out there for everyone." How do they know this? Are they psychic? The bottom line is this: maybe you won't meet your match - ever! This is a very real possibility, it may seem depressing but it is true, and I'd take a cold reality over a comforting delusion anyday.
And THAT is what it is all about - have a sense of humour!!!!! Your done if you don't.
Some great responses. And the Tim Minchin video just made my day.
There is no perfect match and no soulmate. There are billions of people in this world and there will always be someone that's better or worse than your partner. That's the reality.
And yes, there is somebody for everyone. Unless you suffer from evolution's dark side of distorting your physical image and/or your mental capabilities, or you're socially awkward, the majority of people will find somebody with a reasonable amount of persistence. The ones that won't usually have unrealistic expectations about what they want. There are only so many criteria that can be met when looking for someone; eventually you will just have to give in and make compromises.
the Tim Minchin is awesome :)
i think maybe what we think of as "soulmates" are those people with whom it's just easier to get along and be ourselves. . .
I think this idea first came about via Edgar Cayce, and then sort of disappeared for a bit. I remember a book coming out in the late 80s that got the New Agers very excited about Soulmates.
I remember having a flick though it, and seeing the bit where the universe ends when all the soulmates are joined. Then going errrr yeah, right.....
I certainly don't believe in soul mates. I do believe that when selecting a partner there are various parts of a person's personality that make one person better suited to be a permanent fixture in your life than another. Just like friends, there are people you can stand and people who you can't and people in between. But by no means do I think there is only "the one".
I'd guess that it's a lot more common for theists (than atheists) to believe in perfection of one kind or another, because of belief in devine plans, etc.
Still, the idea of a perfect mate can feel real (and become real) just because it involves hormones and brain chemicals that actually make mates bond, emotionally.
It's often real, alright. My biggest gripes are that it seems more a matter of chance than choice, and it doesn't always last as long as expected.
There is no soul, so there cannot be soulmates. But there can be mindmates or twin brains. They are to each other similar below a threshold, so they can be comfortable and not feel repulsion from differences. Considering the number of people on earth, there are a few mindmates for me out there somewhere. But even with the internet, I have troubes to find even one of them, even though I am busy searching.
I have little need for mindmates. If she's fun to be with, looks like Kate Beckinsale, and can suck a golf ball through a garden hose, what more could I want or need?
If she had all of those qualities, why would she need you?
Would you supply her with a magnifying glass?
So much for the "My kind of girl!" comment from earlier in the week--