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Permalink Reply by Kris Feenstra on February 15, 2012 at 5:42pm

He didn't pick a fight; he made a single comment.  While you may feel that the comment was off target or that he took your words out of context, it really could have been a simple misunderstanding.  Frankly, you're just being thin-skinned.

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Permalink Reply by Tex on February 15, 2012 at 9:26pm

Dylan, what's going on brother - I'm sensing some high anxiety and I'm one of the old guys...anything we can help you with?

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Permalink Reply by ernie garcia on October 7, 2011 at 2:06am

i can't speak for anyone but myself, but there is no evidence of any fate beyond your death.  what happens between your birth and your death is (for the most part) up to you.  chances are you will not be in charge of how you depart your life.

 

my opinion is that there are many people that you can enter into a relationship with that will last for the majority of your life.  

 

the line about "you will meet someone eventually" is said as some kind of consolation after a break up or  just not having someone special in your life. you can make it a mission to find someone at the expense of other activities.  some people want spontaneity rather than a planned encounter.  it's just a matter of chance or deliberate action: your choice.

 

i think it's a mistake to end a relationship because you don't think this person is your "soulmate."  no such thing.  soulmates, plural, perhaps.  in as much as you can get along with a great number of people.  enjoy the ride, and stop pining for an imaginary relationship free of problems.  

 

it's all about the journey not the destination.

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Permalink Reply by Trish E. Harmon on October 7, 2011 at 2:50am

"it's all about the journey not the destination"

That's pretty much what I was just saying to Joseph. Enjoy the journey because the future is always uncertain. If one doesn't shoot so high, they just might be much happier.

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Permalink Reply by Trish E. Harmon on October 7, 2011 at 2:47am

Hi, Joseph, I think if one goes into a relationship without big expectations, just to enjoy the other person's company, doing things both like to do, that's really all we can ask or hope for. I've been through my share of good relationships gone bad or just plain bad ones from the get-go. I'm 48 this November, and my outlook now is first: I have no desire or intention to marry again. second: IF I meet someone (and I'm not even looking or hoping at this moment) I just want to enjoy the time I spend with him. third: If it's short-lived, I can at least say I had a great time while it lasted. Of course, sometimes we find ourselves deeply involved emotionally, even when we try not to, but I think at this point in my life I could get over it much faster and move on. I'm comfortable and content doing my own thing right now and in no rush to find someone...I'm too darn busy! LOL

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Permalink Reply by Gabriela Menicucci on October 7, 2011 at 2:36am

That's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you like a girl, and she's not into you then that's not your soul mate,But the next one might be, until things get sour, and if things get sour then is because she wasn't either. If you find somebody and you or her dies before the relationship ended that was your soul mate. If you never find somebody that sticks with you until the last of your or her days then your soul mate lives in a parallel universe or is in some sort of dimension waiting for you. If you connect with lot of girls during your lifetime then that means you have several soul mates.

So whatever happens, the outcome is the same: You have a soul mate.

 

Truth is science already explained romantic love. And is all very physical and mundane. No need for a mystical reason. 

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Permalink Reply by Trish E. Harmon on October 7, 2011 at 2:38am

I don't believe in a soul mate but do believe there are many people out there I could easily be happy with due to our similar interests. It's all about what you require in another person to be happy and visa versa. I might meet a guy who is cute, witty, and fun to be around, but if I find out he has kids he doesn't care for or bother to see, or has a drug or serious alcohol problem, those are deal breakers for me. Sometimes I've met a guy I wasn't at all physically attracted to, but their personality eventually transformed them in my eyes and I just got all goo goo over them, lol. There are so many variables when looking for that special person, that so many can fit the bill in so many different ways.

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Permalink Reply by Tex on October 7, 2011 at 9:36am

Of course there is no soul, but for those that think there is, I just think its the luck of the draw. How many times have your heard about someone claiming someone is their soul mate only to have the relationship crash and burn? Or the person you think is the love of your life turns out to be a cheating SOB. If you are in a relationship and you feel like the person you are with is your soul mate, count yourself lucky (or not), but rest assured it's only a feeling...and just hope it lasts!

However, it is very very possible that there are a lot of women out there that just haven't meet their soulmate yet simply because they haven't meet ME....I mean it is possible right? :-)

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Permalink Reply by JP Prater on October 7, 2011 at 11:20am

I disagree. I have my perfect soulmate. I don't think it was predestined fate, but what I mean when I say soulmate is someone with many many common interests that you can get along with perfectly.
Best of luck to you finding yours as well.

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Permalink Reply by Steve on October 7, 2011 at 12:04pm

Not in a supernatural sense. For a me a soulmate is just someone with whom you get along extremely well. Someone you click with and who gets you.

 

The idea that there is ONE soulmate out there for everyone is nonsense. There are many

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Permalink Reply by Arcus on October 7, 2011 at 1:29pm

I find the notion of "soulmate" to be quite silly and juvenile. If I am not mistaken, there is such a term as 'familiarity grows contempt' in English, essentially implying that you will hate certain aspects of anyone you have a relationship with. If you don't, then I guess you have either been brainwashed or kudos are in order.

Personally, I find that attractiveness is two-fold. Firstly, there is the immediate physical attraction, which probably includes 10-20% of all females in my selected age category, thus not particularly restrictive. Secondly, I find that "mental" attraction is much more important for a successful relationship - one needs to be able to live with both the attributes and flaws of a partners psyche. It further narrows down the pool of prospectives, but far from limits it to a single person or even a few.  

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Permalink Reply by Tim on August 18, 2012 at 11:27am

There is a selection algorithm called, "The Secretary Problem". This is the description from Googol:

1. There is a single secretarial position to fill.
2. There are n applicants for the position, and the value of n is known.
3. The applicants, if seen altogether, can be ranked from best to worst unambiguously.
4. The applicants are interviewed sequentially in random order, with each order being equally likely.
5. Immediately after an interview, the interviewed applicant is either accepted or rejected, and the decision is irrevocable.
6. The decision to accept or reject an applicant can be based only on the relative ranks of the applicants interviewed so far.
7. The objective is to select the best applicant with the highest possible probability.

In other words, one could interview for "the very best" secretary (or soulmate) for a very long time. But after a while one must stop the interview process and make a decision. Some people think that a "better one" is still out there and they keep looking and looking and looking. In the mean time, they pass up a lot of suitable candidates.

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