The idea that there is a perfect match out there for everyone seems to be nonsense to me. Where is the evidence for this? And even if it were true that doesn't necessarily mean you will find that person. Maybe they are on the other side of the world, maybe they haven't been born yet or maybe they are dead - who knows. In the end we can settle for and love a person, but it's often far from a perfect soulmate.
And another thing -- when somone says "you will definitely meet someone eventually" or "there is someone out there for everyone." How do they know this? Are they psychic? The bottom line is this: maybe you won't meet your match - ever! This is a very real possibility, it may seem depressing but it is true, and I'd take a cold reality over a comforting delusion anyday.
Can't speak for everyone but this is a topic my sister and I have a lot. She has religiously romanticized love so much that she argues that GOD made her one true soul mate in the world.
I find this notion of a one true love/soul mate that God made just for you ridiculous. It has nothing to do with being fated and everything to do with compatibility. More often than not I've asked her, "If GOD made the one just for you than wouldn't he make it not only obvious that that person was your one when you first meet but that he would bring you together sooner rather then later or not at all." Seems stupid and a waste of supreme almighty power when he could be out curing cancer not a persons love life.
If a person considers that every time they claim someone is their soul mate when they date them then how many time do you have to keep repeating it to disprove it. It seems the unspoken answer is, "OH that last one wasn't my soul mate but this next one is for sure". This reasoning is just stupid to me.
The soulmate concept is just another manifestation of human desire for permanence. Nothing in this universe lasts for ever. I had probably 20 out of 26 years of marriage that she was my equivalent of a soulmate. It faded, now I have a new soulmate. Instead of measuring relationships on longevity I measure then on intensity. You only get one life, the secret is to jump in head first, seize the moment, and allow someone to be your soulmate.Works for me anyway!
While I do not believe there such thing as 'soul mates' (or a soul, for that matter), I think that the real question is why the idea of soul mates is propped up as some romantic ideal. Think about it. The soul mate premise is that a god selected a match for every single person. Basically, this is your match, you have no choice, you're destined to be a match no matter what, take it or leave it. Okay, so you are a good fit (or that's the premise at least). But isn't reality more romantic. The fact that if you love someone with all your heart, that you had to overcome the overwhelming odds that us two would happen to meet and begin a courtship that we both find mutual pleasure and fulfilling emotion from. When you look at how many people there are and how different everyone is, isn't the perseverance toward that statistically unlikely joy much more romantic. Soul mates have to meet, but me and my wife didn't have to but did anyway. To me, that feels much more special.
Heh... not looking for "prince charming" just looking for a good friend with whom I have sexual chemistry.
If you're out there looking for your "perfect fit" you aren't going to find it. What is most important for a lasting relationship (from what I've heard - never been in one that lasted long) is chemistry, SOME common interests, and mutual respect.
That's all I'm looking for.
I feel the same way. Love doesn't need to be tied to a marriage or fit some pre-destined, fairy-tale narrative to be true.
I've never believed in soulmates or love--I'll go with Tim Minchin's song on this--
There's a great variety of people I could probably date, marry, whatever--but there's not that ONE PERFECT PERSON out there. That's something that religion likes to propagate so they can tell you that sex is only for that person, etc, etc. WRONG. There is no perfect true love, there is no one person just for you--there is an amount of people that I could date and be happy with--and the fact that I haven't found anyone yet doesn't mean that there isn't someone out there--it just means I haven't looked in the right spot yet!
Once I move to a city my odds will be better, but that's really all it is--odds, finding a guy who will say yes when I ask him out, rather than no. It's the same with guys who are looking to date--you've got to keep asking to find someone--but there's not 'one someone' there's all likelihood that you'll find several people in your lifetime that you feel close to.
Also this "true love" concept--whut? I think it's a really convenient word to bundle up something that is much more useful and real than 'love' ever will be--caring, trust, history, comfort, ease of conversation--literally this is what 'love' encompasses--at least love that lasts--short term 'love' consists more of interest in another--excitement about the future relationship, sexual feelings, etc--that's the 'love' that I see more often.
Do keep in mind that christianity has infiltrated many parts of life--including how we view relationships--the idea of a soul mate or true love is an easy way to force people to limit their sexual relationships or attraction to others. Ironically, some of the happiest couples I've met are basically a long-term friendship where they happen to get nude and have sex on a regular basis.
Atheists are just people who don't believe in God,
I think it's time for some Minchin...
There's also this video:
It's a brilliant follow-up.
And THAT is what it is all about - have a sense of humour!!!!! Your done if you don't.
Some great responses. And the Tim Minchin video just made my day.