The idea that there is a perfect match out there for everyone seems to be nonsense to me. Where is the evidence for this? And even if it were true that doesn't necessarily mean you will find that person. Maybe they are on the other side of the world, maybe they haven't been born yet or maybe they are dead - who knows. In the end we can settle for and love a person, but it's often far from a perfect soulmate.


And another thing -- when somone says "you will definitely meet someone eventually"  or "there is someone out there for everyone." How do they know this? Are they psychic? The bottom line is this: maybe you won't meet your match - ever! This is a very real possibility, it may seem depressing but it is true, and I'd take a cold reality over a comforting delusion anyday.


Your thoughts?

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"it's all about the journey not the destination"

That's pretty much what I was just saying to Joseph. Enjoy the journey because the future is always uncertain. If one doesn't shoot so high, they just might be much happier.

Hi, Joseph, I think if one goes into a relationship without big expectations, just to enjoy the other person's company, doing things both like to do, that's really all we can ask or hope for. I've been through my share of good relationships gone bad or just plain bad ones from the get-go. I'm 48 this November, and my outlook now is first: I have no desire or intention to marry again. second: IF I meet someone (and I'm not even looking or hoping at this moment) I just want to enjoy the time I spend with him. third: If it's short-lived, I can at least say I had a great time while it lasted. Of course, sometimes we find ourselves deeply involved emotionally, even when we try not to, but I think at this point in my life I could get over it much faster and move on. I'm comfortable and content doing my own thing right now and in no rush to find someone...I'm too darn busy! LOL

That's a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you like a girl, and she's not into you then that's not your soul mate,But the next one might be, until things get sour, and if things get sour then is because she wasn't either. If you find somebody and you or her dies before the relationship ended that was your soul mate. If you never find somebody that sticks with you until the last of your or her days then your soul mate lives in a parallel universe or is in some sort of dimension waiting for you. If you connect with lot of girls during your lifetime then that means you have several soul mates.

So whatever happens, the outcome is the same: You have a soul mate.


Truth is science already explained romantic love. And is all very physical and mundane. No need for a mystical reason. 

I don't believe in a soul mate but do believe there are many people out there I could easily be happy with due to our similar interests. It's all about what you require in another person to be happy and visa versa. I might meet a guy who is cute, witty, and fun to be around, but if I find out he has kids he doesn't care for or bother to see, or has a drug or serious alcohol problem, those are deal breakers for me. Sometimes I've met a guy I wasn't at all physically attracted to, but their personality eventually transformed them in my eyes and I just got all goo goo over them, lol. There are so many variables when looking for that special person, that so many can fit the bill in so many different ways.

Of course there is no soul, but for those that think there is, I just think its the luck of the draw. How many times have your heard about someone claiming someone is their soul mate only to have the relationship crash and burn? Or the person you think is the love of your life turns out to be a cheating SOB. If you are in a relationship and you feel like the person you are with is your soul mate, count yourself lucky (or not), but rest assured it's only a feeling...and just hope it lasts!

However, it is very very possible that there are a lot of women out there that just haven't meet their soulmate yet simply because they haven't meet ME....I mean it is possible right? :-)

Not in a supernatural sense. For a me a soulmate is just someone with whom you get along extremely well. Someone you click with and who gets you.


The idea that there is ONE soulmate out there for everyone is nonsense. There are many

I find the notion of "soulmate" to be quite silly and juvenile. If I am not mistaken, there is such a term as 'familiarity grows contempt' in English, essentially implying that you will hate certain aspects of anyone you have a relationship with. If you don't, then I guess you have either been brainwashed or kudos are in order.

Personally, I find that attractiveness is two-fold. Firstly, there is the immediate physical attraction, which probably includes 10-20% of all females in my selected age category, thus not particularly restrictive. Secondly, I find that "mental" attraction is much more important for a successful relationship - one needs to be able to live with both the attributes and flaws of a partners psyche. It further narrows down the pool of prospectives, but far from limits it to a single person or even a few.  

There is a selection algorithm called, "The Secretary Problem". This is the description from Googol:

  1. There is a single secretarial position to fill.
  2. There are n applicants for the position, and the value of n is known.
  3. The applicants, if seen altogether, can be ranked from best to worst unambiguously.
  4. The applicants are interviewed sequentially in random order, with each order being equally likely.
  5. Immediately after an interview, the interviewed applicant is either accepted or rejected, and the decision is irrevocable.
  6. The decision to accept or reject an applicant can be based only on the relative ranks of the applicants interviewed so far.
  7. The objective is to select the best applicant with the highest possible probability.

In other words, one could interview for "the very best" secretary (or soulmate) for a very long time. But after a while one must stop the interview process and make a decision. Some people think that a "better one" is still out there and they keep looking and looking and looking. In the mean time, they pass up a lot of suitable candidates.

This is exactly my method.   I have a check list of non-negotiable traits, attributes and criteria, which either create the feeling of attraction to intellectual intimacy or the feeling of the repulsion of an unsurmountable mental ditch.   I am ready to accept the first one, who passes my list.     Ending my loneliness by someone just suitable enough is more rational than ending alone in an old people's home before finding perfection.  

   Any ladies out there aching to meet a 76 year old, bald, short, ugly, godless, liberal, egotistical man who lives in the forest in a tiny cabin and rarely bathes?  If so, I guess soulmates do exist.  Otherwise, no.

Dear sir. My grandmother is a godless liberal. She loves the woods. She is 73.

I would not hesitate one moment to consider someone "bald, short, ugly, godless, liberal," when he is in my own age group and willing to negotiate his hygiene and a fair deal of giving and receiving by a tit-for-tat strategy.   In fact, my mindmate to be found is godless and liberal.   Not being taller than myself of 5"4 would be very welcome.   Why climb a ladder to look into someone's eyes?


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