The idea that there is a perfect match out there for everyone seems to be nonsense to me. Where is the evidence for this? And even if it were true that doesn't necessarily mean you will find that person. Maybe they are on the other side of the world, maybe they haven't been born yet or maybe they are dead - who knows. In the end we can settle for and love a person, but it's often far from a perfect soulmate.


And another thing -- when somone says "you will definitely meet someone eventually"  or "there is someone out there for everyone." How do they know this? Are they psychic? The bottom line is this: maybe you won't meet your match - ever! This is a very real possibility, it may seem depressing but it is true, and I'd take a cold reality over a comforting delusion anyday.


Your thoughts?

Tags: Soulmate

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I maintain that you are missing many of the things that religious people have to offer, in areas other than religion.

This would only be valid, if people were scarce.

There are more people on earth than I can interact with in one lifetime.   So I have the choice to interact with those, who are mentally the most attractive to me.  

Every hour, which I would spend with the attempt to find something valuable in a christian is an hour lost to spend with an atheist.  

By statistical probability I can expect as much of non-religious benefits from interacting with an atheist as with a christian.   But the atheist has an extra attraction, while the christian means to find something good in spite of feeling a repulsion.   Therefore it is rational to shun the christians and not waste my time with them.

If you are at the fruit stand in the supermarket having the choice between a good apple and one with a wrotten spot, that could be cut off and the rest of the apple eaten, I bet, you would buy the good apple. 

The atheist is the good apple, the christian is the wrotten apple, that I would reject.  

First let me say that I know your native language is German, and with the greatest respect, as one who enjoys languages myself, that in English, "wrotten" is spelled, "rotten." If I were to respond in German, we both would have a good laugh.

But I don't see Christians as rotten apples, only as people whose belief systems differ from my own.

Believe me, there are are atheists with nothing more to offer than their atheism, while there are Christians and Jews and Muslims with much more substance than their religions would imply. By restricting yourself, you limit yourself to all that life has to offer.

The essence of a person, the identity, are the values, attitudes, opinions, convictions, beliefs, morals.      So my metaphor of the rotten spot of the apple was not even correct.   The delusion of the existence of a god is a serious defect, religious people have a rotten spot in the essence of their personality.    The absence of a delusion is mental health, and that is better than the mental illness of a delusion.  

Maruli, you are viewing a coin as having only one side - as I mentioned earlier, Isaac Newton was devoutly religious, yet Einstein himself admitted to having stood on his shoulders - by your own admission, you would dismiss him as insignificant, because he was religious.

All I'm saying, is that all people have value. I'm sorry that you don't agree, as I feel that that limits your personal experiences in life, but I will be the first to admit that the option is yours - we all get out of this brief span of time that we are privileged to exist, exactly what we put into it.

making choices does not limit experiences.  It is the choice of an experience.    Having 10€ one person can invest it in a book by Newton for the experience, the other buys a book by Randi, Shermer or Dawkins and gets an equally valid but different experience.    But it is a choice.  

RE: "Having 10€ one person can invest it in a book by Newton for the experience, the other buys a book by Randi, Shermer or Dawkins and gets an equally valid but different experience."

Thus bypassing my point entirely, that according to your professed philosophy, Newton's contributions to science would have been disregarded entirely, as he was Christian, and consequently insignificant.

I think it is unfortunate that 'soulmate' is used, but most people know exactly what it means, without getting sidetracked into esoteric discussion.  

At best, my partner and I are 80% 'it is all really good'- 10% disagreements on my vehemence on certain subjects, and the last 10% because he happens to be male, and I happen to be female, and frigging thank my lovely white unicorn for the differences. A  list of preferences, Ha - there are things that a bloke would present, that you would never have even thought of - that is what men do. I didn't want fat and hairy, and that is exactly what i got - because I deemed he made the grade, and I deemed him "good enough" for me - he bought totally different experiences into my life - and I to his. As one gets older, some expectations are dropped, others raised - that is experience.  - to have it any other way, would be totally deadset boring, total drear - most people have been done over, at some stage - I was married to a liar and cheat.  I learnt the lesson - what you see, is not necessarily what you get. Most people have been 'done over", at some stage, but one has to move on, not hate the opposite sex, or whatever your choice is.  It is all part of the human experience. Learn from it, some of us don't. I wouldn't get married again, more of a cognitive choice - as in the scheme of things, it doesn't make any difference. To be with someone who agreed with everything, limits ones experience. One person loves Theatre, the other hates it, Flick - xian, - flick - sport - flick . Cognitive choice. People have to grow, and that is often through the other person. I have two criteria - must be Atheist and must be taller than me - there is that old primitive instinct rearing it's head again :)

Desert Island - I would certainly have a few words to say to them - captive audience :) Good xians, sure, just not enough of them.

I think that the facts that some people are longing for a perfect match and then it often feels like a perfect match tells us something about human nature. In fact it's nature itself adding strength and commitment to a relationship. (Haha, for better, or sometimes worse!) I.e., it's a neuro-chemical thing happening, and it's often unpredictable and hard to resist or undo.

(And btw, I'll bet it's the neuro-chemical magic tricks that also make some people feel that there's some kind of soul-to-soul connection, or that the relationship has some kind of divine blessing. We can all feel it, but we each try to intellectualize it in our own way, which is often not totally rational.)

I don't believe in soul mates but I do believe that people can find true love in the world. I thought a lot about and it seems to be the human condition to search for someone to connect with on a romantic level. I personally believe people in love had to coined this phrase. People are easily deluded sometimes and think just because that found someone they're in love with, it was destined to happen.

Hey Ghost - you've been laying low for awhile - how have you been?

So where did you get such a condescending attitude about people that use generalizations and make you turn they're words into a discussion about specifics?



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