What's the best definition of God that you guys can come up with or find?

I came up with this one: 

"God: a literary device (used mostly in fantasy) to bypass the laws of physics and nature in order to speed up the writing process." 
Modern Example: Eru from "The Silmarillion" by JRR Tolkien.
The traditional example you all know. 

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God (aka Yahweh): something beyond the realm of logic and reality. A creature of christian folklore said to be shapeless and formless yet looks strikingly similar to human beings. It seems to have a phallic obsession and despite claims of omniscience, omnibenevolence and omnipotence, demonstrates behaviors to the contrary. It is a spaceless, timeless creature that is both everywhere and nowhere at he same time. God is the greatest literary contradiction to date.

I define god as the paradoxical concept of a loving, all-powerful, and all-knowing being who created "everything", who gives conflicting orders to humans and extracts punishments on them for not being able to do the impossible.

God: a delusional, irrational, anthropocentric artifact, exclusive to the Homo sapiens brain, selectively formulated to compartmentalize and alleviate fear of the unknown.

God: that which cannot be defined.

God: no entry

Well these last two, despite all the wonderful efforts, may be the most precise. If we take the applicability of a definition as the main criterion it must be, because every time when a possible definition materializes it tends to make the concept disappear.

A crutch some feel a need to latch onto due to discomfort with the unknown. This of course doesn't disprove god as a possibility (something I have little interest in attempting to do, as it's pointless). That said, I think it's necessary to discredit most of the concepts most seem to have on god, as they are typically ludicrous. If god exists I highly doubt it's (I prefer "it", to "he") aware of itself, much less me.

God - an imaginary entity used in order to justify irrational thinking and inhumane actions. Described in many different ways depending on the culture (see: religion), descriptions commonly being illogical and contradictory. Also used as a tool in organisations called religions by the organisation leaders to have direct influence (cultural, intellectual and political) on their followers.

Common phrases:

"God did it" - a shortened version of "I have no idea how this works, and am too ignorant, lazy and arrogant to do some research on it."

"God watches you and knows all" - commonly used by religious leaders and people of authority (see above), in order to scare young people and alike into thinking they are guilty for acting in their own nature.

"I'll pray to God for your help" - a shortened version of "I see that you are in trouble, but am too lazy to provide you with any assistance, so I'll just pretend that I'm helping."

"G"uide  "o"f   "D"estruction.

Good one!

Haha XD

I like this definition

God: An all powerful angry Santa Claus.

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