Dealing with the inevitable
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Helen Pluckrose on -
Hi Nate. I have been talking to a lot of people feeling like this lately and many of them are finding others unsympathetic. It seems quite clear to me that if you have been led to believe you are immortal and then realise you are not, this must have the same effects as learning that you have a life limiting illness and can cause great grief. Did you realise you were an atheist quite recently? If so, you may just need to accept that you are grieving and not expect to be OK with it quickly and be good to yourself? From the people I have spoken to (as part of a voluntary mental health advice group) it seems that adjustment to your mortality does follow a similar pattern to bereavement - feelings of anger, loss, denial, grief all coming at you at different times and affecting your overall happiness. It does pass and you will adjust.
I personally had always been far more afraid of Hell than hopeful of Heaven so my disbelief was relief but so many others report feeling just as you do. I am starting to wonder if some kind of support group would be a good idea. Some people find that the loss of a sense of purpose and specialness through religion can be replaced with a sense of wonder at how improbable it is that you are here at all - all your ancestors for billions of years had to be fertile, healthy and strong enough to survive all kinds of threats for you to exist. You are a direct descendent of the first animals to have a spine, warm blood, feet, hands etc. You are a huge success story! Does science interest you? You may get back your sense of purpose and continuity by learning more about our world and evolution - that makes me feel connected to billions of years worth of history both gone and yet to be. If you know a little or a lot, there is always more to learn.
If this does not appeal to you, I suggest you simply try to accept that you may feel bad for a while and treat yourself as if you have suffered a loss - look after your health, try to find things you enjoy doing, exercise and see friends - allow yourself time to adjust.
-
Permalink Reply by bob spencer on -
I really can't fault this reply. My own personal revelation came when Stephen Fry was discussing the big bang with Brian Cox on QI and it totally blew me away.it was about space/time relativity and quantum mechanics. Fry asked Cox where in the sky he should look for the big bang and Cox replied (quite calmly) "it is here" meaning, this is where the big bang has brought you personally. I am not outside of the universe I am merely looking back at it from its beginning. Its mind boggling.
kind regards
Bob
-
Permalink Reply by Towers on -
Thank you for your insight. Wow. After four decades of being catholic I realised just how silly the whole concept was and - more or less overnight - became atheist. What pissed me off, though, was that according to my own logic, I no longer had an eternal soul (well, of course, I'd never had one to start with, but you get the idea).
And I read your post and saw that, indeed, I felt bereft of eternal (after-)life. Luckily, I'm a pragmatic type and the anger lasted no more than a couple of days.
-
Permalink Reply by Reggie on -
The thing you must remember about dealing with the inevitable is that no matter what you do, it will deal with you. The t-shirt version: don't worry, be happy.
Tim Minchin's beat poem "Storm" I think posits a perfectly apt rhetorical question to reply to you disappointed statement that "this is it". The retort is, "Isn't this enough?". Granted, it may be a disappointment to realize that you will not, in fact, live forever. But is that really necessary in order to enjoy life? Richard Dawkins also has some words that I have taken to heart.
We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outnumbers the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?
-
Permalink Reply by Helen Pluckrose on
-
Lol! I was thinking of pasting the last few lines of 'Storm'!
-
Permalink Reply by Nate Warnock on -
I just watched the animated version of Storm...Brilliant! I also love that quote from Dawkins, just sometimes I get selfish! :)
-
Permalink Reply by Jason D. Johnson on -
I love you for quoting this man. I am keeping this quote from Tim Minchin forever....
-
Permalink Reply by Dale Headley on
-
The human mind cannot actually deal effectively with the concept of anything going on forever, and ever, and ever and EVER, and... So I simply define "eternity," in personal terms, as that span of time between birth and death. Eternity, therefore, has a different meaning for each and every living thing. As far as I can tell, nothing caused me pain or distress of any kind before I was born. So it seems logical to assume that the same will be true after I die. Before they agglomerated to form ME, my quadrillions of atoms were engaged in some other endeavor. After I am dead, they will move on to other pursuits. My atoms, you see, are indestructible, immortal, and, essentially, eternal. For me as a sentient construct of my atoms, nothing existed before my birth and nothing will exist after I die.
It is sad, but true, that life is nothing more than the constant effort to delay death. Therefore, it seems to me that my main objective while I am alive should be to get as much out of it as possible - to be always creative and to never do anything to intentionally interfere with the ability of other people to live out whatever life they have left in as happy and creative way as possible. One thing that seems to me a complete waste of time is the preoccupation with the fear of death, which is all that religion really is, in the end.
A while back, I was lying in bed and began experiencing a persistent arrhythmia. Brief episodes of arrhythmia are not necessarily dangerous, but if they last more than a few minutes they might be a heart attack in the making. Mine eventually lasted about 90 minutes. During this time, I was very much aware of the possibility that I might die at any moment; yet, to my surprise, I was completely at peace with it. I wasn't afraid of death.
Many years ago, I took part in a Baptist Youth Group Wednesday night prayer meeting. The enlightened pastor threw out the question,"If we all believe in God (I didn't), why are we afraid of death? There were about 50 of us in the audience, and after a few moments, when nobody else ventured an answer, I blurted out from the back of the room: "Because if HURTS!" "Exactly right," said the pastor. So, for me, as for many others, it is not so much the fear of death itself that is frightening, it is the fear of the pain associated with the process of dying, something, ironically, Christianity does not address. If I had one wish in this world, it would be to eventually die, suddenly, unexpectedly, and painlessly. That, to me, would be the greatest blessing of life.
-
Permalink Reply by JimJones on
-
Funny you mention that. I always wanted to die like Grampa did; quietly, in his sleep. Not kicking and screaming like his passengers.
Sorry, that's my favourite death joke.
:7
-
Permalink Reply by Scott A. Hunt on -
I do my best not to dwell on it. It will only lead me to despair. Or I remind myself that once it's over, I won't be around to worry about it.
-
Permalink Reply by Torrey Garcia on
-
Enjoy the time you have, and make everything you do count; be generous to your friends and kind to enemies (kill them with kindness) and leave a positive legacy. after that not much else.
Big Discussions
Partnering to raise money for cancer research with:
Forum
Atheists Are Not Moral People! Get Your Argument On!
Started by Robert Karp in Theistic Arguments and Debate Help. Last reply by Unseen 6 minutes ago. 143 Replies 2 Likes
Blog Posts
Time well spent by racegirl87.tumble.com
Posted by Nicki Temple on May 25, 2012 at 6:54pm 1 Comment 1 Like
Services we love
Check out our new mobile/tablet version of Think Atheist! www.ThinkAtheist.com/m
© 2012 Created by Morgan Matthew.
