Dealing with a close friend who now dislikes me based on my beliefs alone.

I am currently dealing with someone who liked me before but doesn't now that they know I'm an unbeliever. Normally this would make me shake my head and/or laugh but this person and my girlfriend are very close and she is my girlfriend's boss too.

I was in the store today and waved at her and she made sure not even to look up, something she would have never have done before finding out I'm an unbeliever. She also makes snide remarks at my fiancee like "Well what happened to him?" As I said before it wouldn't normally matter but she is a second mom to my fiancee, which puts her in a very awkward position.

Should I could confront her? She is a tough old broad and comes from a generation that hates gay men and women and minorities too, even though they hide it well.

And does anyone else regularly have to deal with this kind of ignorance? How do you deal with it when it's someone who matters?

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Today I joked not to have the crosses out when I come because I might melt and I think it loosened her up. :)
Great comment, Bryan. Humor is the best approach to this problem - & who knows - you might just have 'planted a seed ' ? They DO have a way of germinating.
Obviously she wasn't as 'good' a friend as you thought. My heart goes out to you. True friends will stand by you.

Those who cannot tolerate you for who and what you are are not really a friend anyway.  Avoid them.  It is up to your fiancee to make her own choice and deal with it as best as she can.


Unfortunately, I think most of us who are free from religious bondage are treatly differently by those who aren't once they discover we are atheist, nontheist, etc. 

Nowadays, I avoid confrontations about religion and god with my friends and family as much as possible.   My mother is a fundamentalist Christian- we have disagreed about god and religion for years, but the confrontations, in hindsight, probably weren't worth the frustration.

With that said, I do confront strangers who wish to impose their Dark Age mentality on me and my children- politicians, ignorant school boards, ignorant city councils, etc.  These are the battles I believe are worth fighting. 

I would say if she isn't too hostile to you, shrug it off and be as kind as possible.

I probably wouldn't go into the reasons why. Someone like that isn't interested in biblical problems, and it would probably short circuit her mind if you tried to explain doctrinal issues. Like others have said, try not to give her a reason to dislike her. Don't say anything anti-christian in any form.


If it were my situation, I would be concerned what garbage she's instilling in your fiancee. Behind your back she could be dropping negative comments and causing your fiancee to continually defend you.  I'd probably advise your girlfriend to avoid discussions about you with the woman.

I suppose the short of it is this: of what value is it to you to remain true to who you are and wish to be, and of what value is it to let some or most of that go to hold onto a relationship where you are not the only decisionmaker? If the relationship is of enough value to sell off part of who you are, great. Go for it. If the relationship is of less value than what you would have to give up to keep it - end it. End it now before there are hurtful words and actions that cannot be taken back despite good intentions in the future.


Only you can decide what you're willing to sacrifice to have or keep something you desire. Personally, I've lost much over the years by staying true to what and who I am. Yes, it's been very hard but, while I may lose family, friends and loved ones, when I close my eyes, I have to answer to myself and I have been consistently loyal to the one judge I cannot escape.



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