Crazy Theist Discussion Post on Facebook: "Convert to Christianity or go to Hell!"
You foolish scientists, evolutionists, secularists, and non-Christians unwisely choose to ignore the Bible. But folks, the Bible is the SOLE truth and the SOLE way to heaven. No way around it. You can't try to distract Peter while you're in front of the heaven door, you'll just have to drop to hell and burn right next to your Satanist and Atheist friends. Turn now or you're dead!
(Check out how people dissed this troll here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/topic.php?uid=2214654109&topi... )
(Check out how people dissed this troll here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/topic.php?uid=2214654109&topi... )
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Peter Nichols on -
If all my friends will be there in hell, Why would I want to go to heaven where I will know no one?
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Permalink Reply by Aaron Burgoyne on -
I'm looking forward to hell, I'll get to see all my old friends!
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Permalink Reply by David Miller on -
That has got to be a Poe. Either that or the most unblinkingly stupid theist in the world who can apparently string words together fairly well.
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Permalink Reply by M on -
I always feel kinda bad for these people. It's like they have a learning disability that no one can seem to help them with. They are incapable of THINKING and just trust and believe like naive little lambs. I always like to tell these people that I hear hell is warm all year 'round just to my liking. Plus, I don't recall Lucifer lying outright in the Bible, unlike The Super-Duper Omnipotent One. I prefer honesty in my leaders.
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Permalink Reply by Mario Rodgers on -
Convert to Pastafarian or be covered in marinara sauce for all eternity!
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Permalink Reply by Christopher McGuire on -
Ah, yes, Pastafarian hell. Where the beer is stale, and all the strippers have VD. Doesn't sound like much fun... hahaha
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Permalink Reply by Mario Rodgers on
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The comments from some of the other believers only further convince me that many Christians are idiots. I especially love the "Bible is a metaphor" defense in validating the contradictions and abhorrent acts contained therein.
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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Sherman on -
haha, I love how heaven has to be such a literal thing. As if it would really have a gate and St.Peter is standing there with a clipboard.
Slavery should be legal, my friend. The Bible teaches us that slavery is okay, and Jesus told us that slaves should obey their masters.
"Those perverted gays need to learn how painful it is to be burned by a church, so they can avoid the burning of Hell by stopping touching each other's penises and turning to Christ."
Yikes. They're always so dirty when they talk about homosexuality. That's true Christianity.
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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Sherman on
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"seriously dude shut the fuck up. how can u condone slavery? if it said in the bible to continuously rape ur own mother and starve her to the point of dying would u do it?"
Unfortunately, God's word is God's word. It must be done. But remember that He did not say that we MUST have slaves but that it was okay. What is immoral to you is moral to God. God is the ultimate moral judge of all; your petty arguments about its morality is nothing to what He has said.
Thats insane.
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Permalink Reply by Mario Rodgers on
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God hates you. Hate him back.
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