If you want to increase the chance you and your partner will break up, help him/her with the dishes, carry out the trash, mow the lawn on alternating weeks.
Divorce rates are far higher among “modern” couples who share the housework than in those where the woman does the lion’s share of the chores, a Norwegian study has found.
In what appears to be a slap in the face for gender equality, the report found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 per cent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work.
“What we’ve seen is that sharing equal responsibility for work in the home doesn’t necessarily contribute to contentment,” said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled “Equality in the Home”.
The lack of correlation between equality at home and quality of life was surprising, the researcher said.
“One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite,” he said.
The figures clearly show that “the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate,” he went on. (source)
The conclusion wasn't that sharing duties around the home damages the marriage, but that "modern" couples who divide up the work also have different attitudes toward and a lower commitment to marriage than more traditional couples.
In the past there were studies showing that couples that live together before marriage—believing that doing so would help them better decide whether to tie the knot—actually divorced in considerably higher numbers than those who lived apart before marriage. The explanation then was similar: such couples are less committed to marriage to start with and, thus, are more likely to bail when it doesn't meet their perceived needs as well as they thought.
Are freethinkers bad bets if you want a marriage to last? What do YOU think?
Men! I wouldn't have one.
I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but I've heard one feminist researcher saying that what matters is the total hours worked by each person towards the household, including paid employment time.
Are freethinkers bad bets if you want a marriage to last?
Obviously. If you want a marriage to last, you should marry a slave. Just like in the bible.
Once when my husband was irritated over something or another, threatened to get himself another wife. I said, "Please do. She can cook, clean, grocery shop, coordinate doctor's and dentist's appointments, and pay the bills. When can we get one?"
In seriousness, I do waaaay more of the work. We both cook and share childcare, but I support us and do all the household stuff. He does yard work, repairs, and deals with our vehicles. We've been married ten years. It is what it is.
Who would want a marriage to last if it was a horrible one? Probably the religious. Some of our members have had horrendous marriages that took all of their courage to get out of, because of societal pressures, often shaped by religious communities.
Love the idea of sharing house duties signifying lower commitments - how do you suppose that works in the gay community?
As to your final question - if you want a marriage to last longer than it is tolerable to be in it, you probably need to do a bit of self-evaluation.
If women are virtual slaves, many will undoubtedly feel powerless to end the marriage. The number of "equal" couples divorcing probably reflects the real number of people who are simply not suited to a monogamous, lifetime partnerships.
It depends on their professional lives as well. I can see how it would be better for one person to do the lion's share of the chores if the other one works a full time job. But if both work full time, then sharing the chores wouldn't be that big of a problem, so long as they both sit down and work out an agreement on how the chores should be done.
For example, I like to put a bag in the trash can right after I take the full one out, and it would annoy me if my significant other was out at the curb, dropping off the full bag while I was fumbling around looking for a can with a bag in it. I also like to scrub all the visible food particles off of the dishes before running them through the dishwasher, so that food isn't splattered all over everything else, and everything gets properly sterilized.
On the other hand, I don't separate my colors out when I do the laundry, because I purposely buy clothes with good dyes that don't bleed, so I would have to compromise if I were to share a laundry hamper with anyone.
I also like to scrub all the visible food particles off of the dishes before running them through the dishwasher, so that food isn't splattered all over everything else, and everything gets properly sterilized.
Science says this may be unnecessary... you should double check the literature.
Maybe for newer washers, but mine doesn't do well with food chunks. Any way, that's irrelevant to my point.
Do you wash your kitchen towels in the same washer at the same time as your underwear?
Just curious. I think if one is interested in hygiene this is probably a bigger issue than food particles in the dish washer that probably get rinsed down the drain during the dishwashing process.