Today American children have more protection against physical abuse than ever before. Parents are not allowed to beat their children or leave serious injuries during punishment. And teachers are no longer allowed to use paddles, swiches, or ruler to discipline children.
However.. I fall into a camp of people demanding that the current laws are NOT enough. There is a form of abuse that can do even more long-lasting damage than physical.... psychological abuse. PS... I will not judge you if you disagree with my statements... but lets NOT turn this forum into a flame war. Please be professional everyone.
Psychological abuse includes emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and physical abuse that serves to humiliate rather than leave real physical damage.
Emotional abuse includes manipulation, guilt trips, implying or telling the child that they are evil or bad [not just that what they did was bad, but that they are a bad-natured child], telling a child they should be more like "so-and-so's" kids, humiliating a child to gain control, threatening a child with severe physical or emotional abuse that you don't plan to carry out to scare them and "keep them in line." An example of this was experienced by a friend of mine. "If you don't get your room cleaned up, you will sleep in the basement with the spiders." This was a direct malicious attack because the parent KNEW that my friend was aracniphobic and the basement was unfinished and not lacking in spiders.
Verbal abuse includes calling your child swear words or words meant to demean and lower self esteem:
girls - bitch, whore, slut, witch, hag, porker [male or female], fatass [male or female], etc.
Boys - sissy, candyass, son of a bitch [insulting to the mother as well], fag/ faggot, dick, etc.
Physical EMOTIONAL abuse includes:
Slapping, Spanking, Paddling, Using a Belt on Buttocks, slaping buttocks, hitting with newspaper, throwing objects at child, etc.
I have not had a child myself but I have wittnessed the struggles my parents went through to raise children, so I know that raising children is hard... but I think that that does NOT justify behavior like the outlined above. I personally want these behaviors to be outlawed... starting with corporal punishment [physical emotional abuse].
What do you guys think?
I feel you. I hated my childhood, both the physical and the mental abuse. I have many reasons to not want children, and absolute fear of being a parent such as mine told me not to do it. Other main reason is planetary overpopulation but that's another topic.
Every youth doctor visit I ever had I asked about sterilisation but I was always refused (Canada... need age 35 and 2 kids here).
I was on the pill from the age of 14, but only had intercourse 3 years later. Was on contraceptives till late 20s, when I got pregnant 3 times in 24 months. Three abortions, which I blame squarely on patriarchal medical institution which assumes modern women's role in life is first to procreate.
1.5 years later, in new city, I asked my new doctor AGAIN for sterilisation, I said "isn't three fucking abortions enough to prove I don't want kids?!?!"
The "specialist" said ok, will next week do? I was 32.
I'm nearing a dozen male friends who've been vasectomied... respect and curtsy.
Parents today who were raised in small families DO NOT know how to parent. Throughout Homo sapiens evolution, parenting was a community/group/tribe task. Nuclear families have been the death of parenting. Without experience there can be no knowledge.
It is not necessary to experience raising children to have a valid opinion on what is wrong. If I see a parent throw his child out the window. I know it's wrong. If I see a child get dragged to church I see it as child abuse.
I've never had my own child, not for the lack of trying.
But I do believe in corporal punishment. Sometimes children just need a quick ass whoopin. LOL... I was raised that way and it worked mostly. I see some parents walking around that never physically punish their children and guess what.....
Yeah, their children act like the worst little shit bags on Earth. I don't think it's completely necessary to be a parent to know a little bit about raising kids. As a person without a child, I can't stand the arrogance of parents who "wax poetic" about their special experience as parents, as though it may take actually being a parent to fully understand parenting, it's not required to understand all of it.
Don't insult the guy because you don't like the fact that he has just as much right to say what is right and wrong ways to treat children as you do (and he most certainly does Greg). Being a parent didn't grant you this right, being a person did.
But to the blogger of this post, corporal punishment is not completely unnecessary. There's a difference between child abuse and a proper spanking. That's just a fact. I know lots of people who don't spank their kids and I gotta tell ya..... Only they are to blame for the frustration their children cause, but I also respect their decision if they're willing to sleep in the bed for which they've chosen to make themselves.
I don't have to be a parent to have the right to speak my mind about what's right and wrong ways to raise kids. Some parent's are just fucking criminal about it. We're all entitled to our opinions and any one can "Wax poetic" all they like. If you don't like it......move along and stop being so bloody arrogant. It doesn't take being a parent to know a good bit about parenting.
Obviously, if he had the same opinions as you and stated them instead of what he actually wrote, you wouldn't have replied so rudely. You've done nothing but show that you are a pretentious dick Greg, and hopefully you're a better parent than you are a blog commenter, for your childrens' sake.
It is not necessary to experience raising children to have a valid opinion on what is wrong. If I see a parent throw his child out the window.
Thanks, I'd been wanting to say that since several posts! If children were objects that remained within the confines of parents for ever then ya, maybe it's only relevant to those parents... But children grow up and enter society and the shit parents put them through carries through to the larger social environment, and society as a whole ends up having to pay for parents' lack of upbringing skills.
So yes, to all those of you who think it's your own business only... you are NOT living in a bubble. Those kids are to be members of society and it's incredibly self centered to see them as your own personal little toys to experiment with.
I am reminded of a couple and their daughter they were raising and 'home schooling'. Oh yes, she was intelligent... she was also a monster, with zero social skills. Poor kid.
I agree with everything except the spanking.
I would personally never spank a child. I would never viciously call them a bad word. My father used to do this all the time. I would say I would rather have been hit instead of being called a 'little fucker' or a 'fucking moron' for I don't know ... Doing dishes the 'wrong' way?
Kids will be kids. They need to make mistakes and do stupid stuff in order to learn and grow. But I think a parent should be able to spank a kid without anyone really caring. It's really isn't that traumatizing. If it's sort of a more 'shock' factor than a 'hurt' factor. You know how kids sometimes start screaming bloody murder if they fall off a chair - even though they are not hurt one bit - then start giggling a second later when you do something funny? Spankings are fine if they don't hurt too much.
As for the guy who got all defensive about you speaking your mind, I think that was a bit much as you obviously have the right to say whatever you want - and it's irrational to think anyone without children know nothing about what it takes to raise them. If you can't be civilized towards your children you should not have them in the first place. Also , this forum is called 'Think Atheist' ... there is no rule that states you can't post something that isn't connected to Atheism. (Duh!)
I was abused as a child - I was beaten - drug across floors by my hair - not fed for an entire day - Forced inside rooms without lights on (I had an extreme fear of the dark and would have convulsions if my night light went out.)
With all that I have been through - If I see a parent slap a child across the face in public - I do have to hold myself back ... I want to rip their fucking heads off. Put a stake through their throat. My blood literally starts boiling. A child should never be slapped or struck across the face. Children are just far too innocent to be defiled in such a way.
But anytime a child get's a spanking - IMO they usually deserve it. Cause they are being little devils.
Religion should be illegal as well for their mind torture with putting fear into little kids.
I must agree with Dustin Sanders I was abused as a child as well I won't get into details. I will just get all worked up talking about it. I am a PARENT, I do not hit, there is no need to in my opinion.
Also my abuse was so traumatic that if I even hear a child crying and cannot see them my heart starts to race and I have to hold myself together and not think the absolute worst is happening to the child. If someone is hits a child in anyway I have to hold myself back from hitting them. It not even something I think about it's an automatic response I start sweating my heart begins to race and I honestly begin to break down.
Also I thought that I believe it was Texas still allows the paddle in their state and I don't believe they are the only one.
I do not in anyway believe that we have gone far enough to protect children - spanking should be illegal.