I would have an abortion. I am totally against the idea of any schmuck coming along and deciding they want to become a father via my body. I am not just a walking uterus waiting to become inseminated. It's bad enough anyone would commit that kind of violence against me, or anyone, but to say carrying the rapist's child to term is adding insult to injury is an extreme understatement.
Also, in most state's rapist's have parental rights. Eff that.
Finally, I think adoption is generally a terrible alternative. I would feel worse giving my child up for adoption and wondering what their fate was than terminating my pregnancy before the blastocyst had a chance to develop a nervous system or a mind/consciousness. If I did carry to term, I would absolutely keep the baby.
I'm glad you were adopted into a much better life than you would have had. I shouldn't paint adoption with such a broad brush. It's definitely the best thing that could've happened to many children.
As far as me giving up a child for adoption, I wouldn't. My child would definitely have a better life with me... and I wouldn't take the chance of putting them in a system where abuse is possible. I would rather not give birth to my rapist's child but, if I did, I would absolutely keep it. I would feel like a terrible person otherwise... knowing I could give the child a good life.
I guess I simply don't see a fertilized egg as a person yet; it's still merely potentially a person. Actually, it is literally an anus in the beginning. I don't know what the exact moment is an embryo becomes a person, but it's certainly not in the first few weeks. I probably would take the morning after pill right away so the possibility of me finding out I was pregnant weeks later would be slim.
it is literally an anus in the beginning
Haha, a brainless anus. That analogy makes even more sense than my sense that it just looks like a salamander for a while.
Don't get me wrong. I make fun of it, but once it's born, it's a real person. But even then, it can have problems that one wishes one knew about before it actually became a person.
In 1997, the New England Journal of Medicine published the largest-scale study ever on this subject--with 1.5 million participants--which concluded that there is no independent link between abortion and breast cancer. Clearly if abortion does increase the risk of breast cancer, it does so by an undetectably small margin. Becoming pregnant and carrying a pregnancy to term may, however, reduce the risk of breast cancer.
Most all the claims the Pro-Life movement make are completely fabricated scare tactics. I was recently an Ambassador for Planned Parenthood and our monthly meeting were full of informative, myth-dispelling talks given by medical experts.
The Guttmacher Institute has a lot of good information. Here's an article about abortion and mental health. Of course, Planned Parenthood also has a lot of good information. One fact is that abortion is significantly safer than pregnancy itself.
I think that birthing and breast feeding reduce the risk of cancer, but 10 fold is an outright lie. If I remember correctly, it's more in the very low percentages, like lower than the percentage of risk added just by (say) second hand smoke.
I'd look up statistics if I had more time. NIH probably has decent, unbiased statistics.
Or start here.
Morning after pills, most definately.
Of course I'm glad I wasn't aborted, glad to be a combo of one in millions of sperm and one in hundreds of eggs... the chances of me becoming me were astronomically infinitesimal. If the combo had been different, someone else might have been saying this instead of me. But my past should have absolutely no bearing on other people's decisions on abortions. Natural abortions occur inthe multitudes, daily, but I see no reason to let it bother us.
This may sound silly, but really, if I was aborted, I can guarantee you that I wouldn't complain about it, or feel sorry for myself.
Cheers to everyone who makes it into this world. As to those who don't, they just never came to be, and there was no loss (except to a parent, in a few cases).
I'm embarrassed to admit I thought this was true before.
That's still a reality of women around the world, among other male superpositions, until we overcome thousands of years of history and ritual.
We have no religious hoo hah to fall back to here.
I just think it's a no brainer.
Imagine the horror of looking at that child; on the one hand loving the crap out of it, because it's mine, and the other being reminded of the asshole that violated me.
That one moment would not just dissipate into the nether regions of my conscience. I tend to carry shit, especially the crap, with me every where i go. I've done geographic's, half way around the world, attempting to forget shit, and it's like luggage; goes with me where ever i go. So to imagine this type of violence visited on me and then having to own it and having to be reminded about it every single time I hold or caress my child would be painful.
If I was aborted I wouldn't know it and there may be the egg next to the one that was aborted, me, typing this shit right now. But he wouldn't be conscious of it either. So who gives a rats ass?
There's always a possibility of emotional side-effects with every decision we make. For this to be used as an argument against abortion is patronizing at best. Christians don't like to talk about the emotional and physical side effects of pregnancy in and of itself... rape or none.
Pregnancy is a nine month medical condition that is uncomfortable from beginning to end... with nausea, emotional ups and downs, pain, weird goo, more pain, stretching... I mean, I don't understand why someone hasn't compiled a list of all the things that happen to a woman while she's pregnant, and after. Anything I've ever read tries to sugar coat it all, and call it beautiful. It's a rather gruesome process in reality. And to force or coerce someone into this prolonged state of misery is cruel.
Pregnancy should always be voluntary, and only after being fully informed of what all it entails. I have heard, over and over, "I didn't think it would be this hard/painful/gross." And, of course, there's postpartum depression even when some women wanted to be pregnant and have a child.
There are emotional "side effects" to being a parent, too! Watching your child fall down or get hurt... watching them get bullied or have their hearts broken... watching them make mistakes and bad decisions... having them go from loving child to resentful teen. Being a parent has to be painful! Children can really traumatize their parents. And again, to force or coerce someone to be a parent before they're up to the challenge, before they're emotionally ready or mature, is cruel. If someone doesn't feel ready whether emotionally or financially, they should always be allowed to opt out... and never guilted for it.
Pregnancy and parenthood are both huge, life-altering responsibilities that inevitably have "side effects" of some kind. Whether either is worth is depends heavily on the woman's state of mind and station in life when she got pregnant. We should trust women enough to know what they can handle. If they regret their decision later, that is simply what being an adult is all about.