Can Cats have Pets?

I have this Cat named Lil'Shit living with me at the present time (until I strangle him), he has all the stuff a reasonable Cat could want, toys, good food and a warm person to sleep on top of at night. However He has decided to go against the Cat Code and adopt a Meadow Vole (rodent similar to a mouse), I caught the two of them rubbing noses in my bathroom. I said "GET HIM!!!" in my best BOSS voice to no avail, the nose rubbing continued.

I'm at a lose to explain this obvious mental retardation of Lil'Shit, he has already killed a few Rats and other rodents as Cats are supposed to do.

Is this Him getting back at me for having his Balls removed?

Did He get into some KatNip gone bad?

Is He thinking of going over to the other side?

Does He think because I have Him as a Pet He gets to have one as well?

Cat Lovers (Unseen & Others) Please Help, I'm going crazy, this ain't natural.

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Permalink Reply by Davis Goodman on March 2, 2017 at 3:50pm

Humans are cat's pets. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Owners are slaves to their cats...and most cats are evil. If they had opposable thumbs they would enslave the world in a couple days.

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Permalink Reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on March 2, 2017 at 4:23pm

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”

Hitchens.

I was adopted by my feline master a few years ago when she staged a coup and took over one of the couches. I have no idea where she came from. I think I have been fully trained to do her bidding at this stage. It is now too fat to bother catching anything. It sleeps 20 hours a day and wins every staring competition, getting all Proverbs 4:25 to "Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you" on me.

I used to find human strangers living in my house. I had an open door “hippy commune” policy for 20 years. As soon as I downsized cats started to move in. This latest one has been named “You’re One of Them” as I was playing GTA V when I discovered it. My neighbors tend to avoid me now. They must have heard me calling it from the back door to come in.

OK. I gotta go, she’s watching me. Yes-Master-Must-Get-Steak-Pieces-Now.

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Permalink Reply by Davis Goodman on March 2, 2017 at 5:41pm

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.

http://www.pawsperouspets.com/humor/catdiary.shtml

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on March 3, 2017 at 10:09am

"DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed (again)."

He almost succeeded with that Cat Ninja move this morning, if He succeeds at this I swear I'm taking Him with Me on the way down.