Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by noisician on December 7, 2010 at 9:12pm

Yeah, my wife of almost 20 years is Catholic but not really observant. The only real issue was her insistence on sending our son to CCD (like Sunday school on Wednesdays) for a while. Finally I convinced her to discontinue that, and we've never attended church otherwise.

Sometimes I ask her to read books like "50 Reasons People Give for Believing in a God" but she refuses to even skim them. But since she doesn't bring up religion, I don't press the issue.

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Permalink Reply by Gaytor on December 7, 2010 at 11:35pm

I think that you can, but you can't be too introverted or analytical about it. You both have to be go with the flow types. What do you teach the children in general? Say you lost a child, how do you hold it together under that type of pressure? Any strong feelings are certainly going to lead to strife. We have friends where I share Atheist books with the wife and have to remind the husband what is silly about creationism. (He's smart, just surrounded by religionists where they live.) Neither of them are forceful with what they believe, so it's not a big deal for them.

I don't think that I could do it happily. I'd have to bite my tongue too often. I'm too quick with the snide remarks. I can sit through dinner politely, but I wouldn't make it living in a house with religion again. I brawl (not in ugly fashion) with my sisters from time to time and I only see them maybe four times a year.

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Permalink Reply by Joli on December 8, 2010 at 2:07am

I'm too quick with the snide remarks

lmao! Same here! :)

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Permalink Reply by Joli on December 8, 2010 at 2:05am

I agree with the others that say it must be a respectful environment. However, Gaytor brings up a very important point about dealing with pressure and strife. It's surely worth thinking about. I may end up being in the same boat as you but with my hubby, not quite sure yet. i thnk he might be thinking of becoming a christian again (yikes!) So anyways, you said you two are BF+GF so there are no serious knots tied yet. Think everything through and make the best possible decision for you, your current children, and your future as an atheist. That's my best advice :)

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Permalink Reply by Kris Potter on December 8, 2010 at 2:26am

I would say no that's simply impossible. There will be heated discussions in your future simply by the difference in faith, primarily whether or not to indoctrinate your future children into his religion. Personally if he's lax enough to let your child grow up dogma free, than I think you guys stand a pretty good chance at making it!

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Permalink Reply by Martha Everett on December 8, 2010 at 7:52am

I'm absolutely sure it can work as much as inter-faith relationships. It must depend a bit on how strongly held the beliefs are on each side & the personalities involved.

Me personally, I could never date a religious person, I'm too argumentative! I have a few Christian friends but often have to leave the room when they mention God for fear of insulting them... I also have a tendency to make very obvious religious jokes because the idea of God just seems so ridiculous & funny to me.

Also, although I never plan on having kids it would be over my dead body than any offspring of mine would be raised religious. Not to mention funerals/stressful events etc. Religion surfaces in so many areas it would just have to be discussed at some point.

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Permalink Reply by TDM on December 8, 2010 at 8:55am

by the way , kudos on the sleeve ...

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Permalink Reply by Angie Baugh Stewart on December 8, 2010 at 3:22pm

Thanks!!!

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Permalink Reply by Michael R on December 8, 2010 at 10:37am

I've been married for 31 years. My wife is a christian, but not a holy roller bible thumper type (that wouldn't work). I've never asked her to read any of my books, however I do let her know when I find certain actions or statements objectionable (from news stories, etc) just as she does with me.

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Permalink Reply by sukhdeep on December 8, 2010 at 2:03pm

it can work for sure based on the evidence that you guys are still together. Like u say he is not ubber religious, and he respects you and ur beliefs, i don't see any problem. On the other hand u might want to look into how his family feels about ur non-beliefs and also how he feels about raising ur children and how much importance he and his family puts in that aspect.
In our experience the family causes more problems than the individual himself.

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Permalink Reply by Angie Baugh Stewart on December 8, 2010 at 3:30pm

"I'm too quick with the snide remarks"

This is exactly why I asked. I'm very open about how I feel and make snide comments all the time and I'm having to bite my tongue more now. Not completely but more then I like. I'm very set in my ways and will not follow any type of religion for myself or my children. I just won't budge on certain things. Like I said, he's not ubber about it, doesn't really talk about god or anything but will make comments about "thank god for this" or he'll say "god brought you into my life" and I always come back with "it wasn't god, it was just chance" ;)
As far as his family, he doesn't have much to do with them so they won't be an issue.

Thanks for all the replies. Makes me feel better that we could possibly make this work. I would prefer to be with an atheist but oh well......

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Permalink Reply by bocakiki on December 8, 2010 at 3:55pm

I disagree that it would work. Religious people have a completely different world view than atheists; and the two opposing views clash.
When I am with a religious person I am aware that they definitely have some lack of mental capacity in order to be able to believe the nonsense. It puts me off, as it does most atheists.
Think long and hard before cementing that relationship! If children come into the picture what will you tell them? They ask questions, you know......

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