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Permalink Reply by Doug Reardon on July 10, 2011 at 12:18am

A relative who will cut you off, or refuse to respect you, because of your religious beliefs is not a "wonderful lady"

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Permalink Reply by wisp on July 10, 2011 at 2:08am

I don't recall him saying she'd do either of those things - just that she'd be upset. Which, for someone who has been deeply religious for that long, who truly believes that unbelief is a danger to one's "eternal soul" - it would be really difficult for someone like that to learn that someone she loves is now condemned to eternal suffering according to her worldview.

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Permalink Reply by Ed on July 10, 2011 at 3:48pm

Wisp,

 

That's it in a nutshell. She would never condemn me. 

 

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Permalink Reply by Nathan Hevenstone on July 10, 2011 at 2:56am

I am in a similar predicament. Of course, my grandparents haven't learned to navigate the web, and they are not Christian, but Jewish.

 

The problem I have, though, is that I know, eventually, I'll have no choice but to tell them, because I'm working on my first album, and between USA Blues, I Don't Believe, Nobody's Fault but Mine, and Hello, it's pretty damn obvious that I'm an atheist. And they both have already stated that they want a copy of my album when it comes out.

 

They are both children of the 50's, and grew up when atheism was synonymous with the "Red Scare" and so on. I already know they are not fans of atheists. Before I was out publically [my mom and brother knew, but that was it], my grandfather went on a tirade about a group of atheists in Connecticut who got angry at their synagogue for wanting to hold a Hanukkah service in the public park (admittedly, I share their anger at this... the synagogue paid for the right to use this small park about a block away from the shul... why shouldn't they be allowed?). He and my Dad went off on atheism for about 10 minutes at the table with me, rather uncomfortable (which my Dad noticed, and that's how I ended up coming out to him).

 

Both of them are beautiful, kind, loving people (otherwise), and I know they wouldn't disown me, but I also know that it will break their hearts (and they are both already quite sick), and that makes me so sad.

 

So I share your question... what should I do?

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Permalink Reply by Rocky john on July 11, 2011 at 11:20am

If you dont want to just come out and say your an atheist you could let them down slowly. That is what i did. I let them think i was still christian but then talked about things i found illogical and wrong with the religion/bible/belief. That way i slowly got them to have an understanding of my point of view without ruining the whole process by first slapping them in the face with me being an atheist. after a while  i told them i was agnostic and got them to accept this, then after another while i told them and got them to accept me being an atheist.

This way it wasnt such a great shock to the system for them

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