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Permalink Reply by Reggie on May 9, 2011 at 9:26am

I politely and quietly wait for the religious incantations to cease before resuming to enjoy the company.  I do not bow my head or close my eyes or pretend to be "one of them".  I do enjoy it when children are present as they tend to look around at the chanting adults in bewilderment.  Eventually, they will meet my gaze and we will exchange knowing smiles, as if only we are "in" on the joke.

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Permalink Reply by Jewelz on May 9, 2011 at 10:12am

Oh I'm terrible in those moments. When they meet my gaze I throw them a fishy lip face then smile and look around innocently.

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Permalink Reply by Reggie on May 9, 2011 at 1:07pm

Ha!  I typically offer up a wink, but I have been know to flash a funny face on rare occasion.

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Permalink Reply by Ron V on May 9, 2011 at 1:41pm

I do the exact same thinig

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Permalink Reply by Corey K on May 9, 2011 at 9:36am

I sit head up high, smile on my face, and remain quiet until its over. No holding hands, no bowing, no closed eyes. No bending over for the religious in my mind.

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Permalink Reply by Jim Minion on May 9, 2011 at 9:40am

My wife is Greek Orthodox, because I'm who I am she doesn't make it to church much. This last Easter she asked if I was going to say grace, so I gave her my rendition (two, four, six, eight, yea god, let's F'n eat). I was not asked to say grace and won't be for some time. Food was great.

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Permalink Reply by Robert Karp on May 9, 2011 at 9:45am

or the popular "Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yey god".  same result.

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Permalink Reply by Jim Minion on May 9, 2011 at 9:58am

Forgot that one, thanks for the reminder. Who knows may need to change it up, don't want to get boring. :)

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Permalink Reply by Teresa Turner on May 9, 2011 at 2:16pm

my personal favorite is "father son holy ghost fastest eater gets the most"

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Permalink Reply by Brandon on May 9, 2011 at 2:22pm

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
Incited by my wicked diet.

"We are what we eat," said a wise old man,
Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
To rise on Judgment Day, it's plain,
With my present weight, I'll need a crane.

So grant me strength that I may not fall,
Into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
That my soul may be polyunsaturated

And show me the light that I may bear witness,
To the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
For the road to Hell is paved with butter.

And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
And Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in pepperoni,
The Devil himself in each slice of bologna.

Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
And Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice,
Cut it thin and toast it twice.

I beg upon my dimpled knees,
Deliver me from jujube's.
And when my days of trial are done,
And my war with malted milk balls won,

Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe -- size 30 long.
I can do it Lord, if you'll show to me,
The virtues of lettuce and celery.

Teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
And of pasta a la Milanese.
And crisp-fried chicken from the South,
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth!

Amen

 

_I couldn't find the author of this--sorry for not citing him/her. (I do believe it was a rather large comedian, but I can't remember his name).

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Permalink Reply by CJ on August 13, 2011 at 10:53am

that is good

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Permalink Reply by Jewelz on May 9, 2011 at 10:00am

At a friend or coworker's house, I would sit quietly at the table with my held held high.

 

However, I don't even do that much for family dinners anymore. Throughout my teens, even after I stopped going to church with my family, I would still come join them around the table, fold my arms (just a Mormon thing, apparently), close my eyes, and bow my head during dinner and holiday prayers out of respect. That transitioned to folding my arms and bowing my head with open eyes while looking around. I noticed everyone else always kept their eyes closed so eventually I stopped bowing my head entirely but kept folding my arms so my family could see me doing it before the prayer began.

 

Then I had kids and when they got old enough to "teach" how to pray, I just couldn't do it anymore. I said fuck it and decided to start my silent protest by walking into the kitchen instead of toward the table with my kids when everyone was called in for the prayer. To my surprise, I never got lectured. Perhaps my family thought I was trying to be polite by keeping the noisy toddlers quiet. As the years progressed and more of my family's younger generation came of age, my siblings eventually joined me in the kitchen followed by some cousins, their kids, and all our significant others.

 

At one point there was only my grandmother, my aunt, and my mother in the room to pray so they stopped praying entirely a few years ago. We've never discussed it, but I assume as soon as the "us" was larger than the "them" they felt foolish and stopped. Interesting how that happened now that I think about it. Great question!

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