My girlfriend has a bit under 3 months to go in her pregnancy, she is Christian and her mother is born again and hates the fact that im an Atheist, this is the message my girlfriend sent me on facebook....

She wrote: I hope u realise now that i am serious about this break up! i dont want anything from u and neither does our baby,im doing fine on my own and i can manage without you,so u dont have to worry about us.....not that you do anyway. but i still want our baby girl to know that your her father and u can still see her after shes born,but we dont want anything from you.please be mature about this and dont reply with abuse.

I still love you very much but as i said before i cant be with someone who is immature and doesn't want to support me and my baby.

I hope u had fun hunting,
atleast now u can go hunting all the time and spend ur money on shit and not have to worry about buying anything for our baby!.....after all thats what you really want!

Goodbye Shermon.


I replied with: I love it how you just Automatically use the child against me, and already state what the child thinks before she is even born...are you gonna tell her what she is allowed to like aswell?

I like the...,but we dont want anything from you.
Dont you mean "YOU" dont want anything from me?
the child is not even born yet you just automaitically make the choice that she does not want anything from me, even though she is not born or old enough to make that decision for herself yet!

So who is the real immature one, i admit i can be immature sometimes, so can you, but do you admit it?

Hope we can work this out for our Daughters sake xo xo xo.

And she reckons i waste money on hunting yet i all i do is pack my lunch and head out with a mate, i already own hunting epuipment so im not wasting money at all i only go hunting one day every second weekend and she flips out. What should i do she has taken refuge at her Bible banger mums house!

Tags: atheism, atheist, christian, christianity, free, thinker

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What makes her think you don't want to support the child?

You can't be stopped anyhow. Just splash out on her when you have access.
I know it will be hard but try to see your child as much as possible because it will be up to you to make sure she is able to make up her own mind which path to take.

It seems that some so called christains are bigoted and only see what they want to see, and force their opinions on their offspring.
I can only wish you good luck..
Consult a lawyer!

You need to know what your legal rights, responsibilities, and boundaries are regarding your child. Even if you don't want to be all that involved physically or financially, you still should consult a lawyer to protect you from being blindsided by future monetary demands from her that may be retroactive.

Once you have established a good course of action legally, you can set a course to deal with the relationship you will always have, for good or for bad, with your ex. You may be better off seeking counseling on that, but if not, always remember to take the high road even if it is difficult. It sounds like your ex will use your daughter against you and may turn her against you. This is why it is good to know your legal rights, but you may also have to accept that this is the case and resist reciprocating (the high road).
Also, be sure to establish your paternity! DNA testing FTW!
Is there some back story missing here? Why does she say she won't accept anything from you and then that you don't want to support the kid. Those are two very contradictory statements.

Make sure you see the kid often so they grow up with the ability to think for themselves. I have a cousin with a mother like that and her daughter is messed up in the head, she doesn't have an original though, only quotes of her mother.
She is annoying, i told her my whole tax return is going on the baby, for clothes supplies etc, but at the moment im working long hours to pay off debt, i told her that i want to get rid of debt as soon as possible as it will be even harder once the child is born.
She wants me to move into a new house with her and buy all this stuff then goes off like most idiotic christians who have their head up jesus asshole!
her mum was so worried about my Atheism that she went out and brought that shitty book written by Ray Comfort called...God doesnt believe in Atheists.

When i told my girlfriend i was Atheist she went on and on telling me how she is getting the baby christened and its going to church on sunday. I said, when the kid is old enough let her decide what she wants to do, dont just take her to church cause its what you like, if she wants to be a churchie when older then fine, Atheist then fine, even buddhist, i dont care it's her decision what her religious beliefs are not yours!
Then she went into a rant about how buddhists arte all going to hell because they worship a false god! wtf is wrong with Christians?
She went from wanting you to get a house together to baring you from doing anything just like that.. damn. Its completely reasonable for you to want to pay down some debt if you have the means to do so before the kid comes, I hear those things are expensive. I haven't seen that book my Comfort, but my only question to them would be if god created everything and its all according to his divine plan then he also created atheists. If he created them he sure as hell better believe in them. Comfort is a moron.

I bet I could find people to say she was worshiping a false god. Damn she is lucky, out of 6 bil people in the world she just happened to be born into the one true religion.. what are the odds?

That's a shitty situation. They already have their minds made up about you and are completely intolerant. I'm with Reggie, talk to a lawyer about it and know where you stand. She obviously isn't going to budge here. Take the high road and be a decent person, make her the asshole. Its either that or you grin and bare it, but it might be a little late for that seeing as that a-bomb is out there in the open. They aren't going to forgive and forget. Even if you are a great dad, they won't care, it will be all about your religious beliefs. Know your rights and watch yourself so they don't dick you.

Good luck
Hey man,
Sounds like a really difficult situation. I hope this community provides you a good place to rant and get it all off your chest. I know that's what I need sometimes.
If you're looking for actual advice, Reggie summed it all up. Go talk to a lawyer. Find out your rights and responsibilities. Adhere to them. Do more than what's asked of you, as long as it's is in a direction that makes you comfortable. Don't engage her. Don't antagonize her. When she starts an argument, just smile and say that you don't want to upset her, and the contentions and details will be worked out in the best interest of the baby within its legal rights. If she pushes, leave the room. It will probably piss her off to no end, but after a while, her behavior will change. If she isn't getting the drama and attention she clearly wants, she'll drop that tactic and find another route. At least you'll have a little peace and quiet.
It sounds to me like it isn't just a religious issue here, but also one of education, maturity and self image. Keep in mind her hormones are making her clinically crazy, too. Nothing you say will make things better. If she's looking for a fight, any answer you give will be ammunition, no matter how harmless it seems.
Good luck. We are all here for you.
Yeah, in your initial post it didn't sound like she was complaining about your atheism at all. All her complaints were more mundane relationship problems. Not that those are easy to deal with. If this is the type of problem, I don't know if atheists are going to have any special advice.

If the issue of your atheism does come up and does seem to really be the crux of her problem, I would only talk about it if she is in a very calm mood. Like Misty is saying, nothing good will come from you having a screaming match with her. Maybe ask her to go out with you for ice cream or lunch - somewhere relaxing and public. Remind her that you are still the same person you always were and that she loved. Just because she's found out about your atheism (or you have?) it doesn't mean your morals, values, or loves are any different (assumptions here on my part).

I'm an atheist and have been happily married to a Catholic girl for 18 years, and we have an 11 year old kid. My wife is not a real devout church-goer but is definitely a believer. I'm just here to say it doesn't HAVE to become a big issue.
Excellent viewpoint!
Ever since i told my Girlfriend of my Atheism her mum has been like oh i was talking to the pastor at the church today and he told me to order this book in, it has scientific proof of gods existence, anyway she ordered it and i read it and all the scientific evidence she was talking about was, this complete idiot named Ray Comfort with a banana theory and how god is real cause the banana fits the hand, its easy to get into, its soft and mushy and easy to digest just the way god planned, i then searched this guy on youtube and found a video called...Ray Comfort vs Matt Dillahunty.
In this video Matt Dillahunty from the Atheist experience completely debunked Rays banana theory, Matt said if the banana is proof of god, then the coconut would also be proof of god, however the coconut does not fit to the shape of your hand, it is not easy to get into like the banana, and it's contents are not soft and mushy, so all Ray has done is looked at different fruits, randomly picked one and said thats proof of god.
so therefore the banana shows no proof of gods existence whatsoever.
and when i go to the mums house sometimes it shits me cause the t.v will be on and this guy got rescued from being lost in the forest for days, when they found him he thanked the rescue team and all his family for not giving up, next thing My girfriends mum jumps up and goes that is terrible not once did that guy say thank you God, after all it would have been god that led those people to find him.

Christians suck. my girlfriend said to me Atheists suck, but i said if we suck so much how come your not sleeping with a Christian, us Atheists must be good in bed.
The Atheist Experience is awesome & Matt is great. You should check out the podcast or the video feed of the show. That and Skeptics Guide to the Universe are my favorite podcasts.

The other thing about bananas? They were freaking DESIGNED BY HUMANS. The original bananas were like plantains - not sweet and you had to cook them before eating. The original wild bananas had numerous HARD SEEDS in them - not exactly the most convenient for eating. Like MANY of the plants and animals we eat today, they are the product of HUMAN cultivation & meddling.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana

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