I recently went to a wedding of one of my boyfriends old friends. It was quite religious with an opening prayer, lots of references to what the bible says about marriage, songs that were religious, more prayers and all that nonsense. 

My boyfriend, who is an atheist, mentioned that he would want that for his wedding because "it's tradition and there would be hell to pay from my family if there wasn't". I personally don't want all that garbage poisoning my wedding, and as for the family, it would be our wedding and not theirs. Why should we do things we don't want to placate them?

My question to you is, what would be right for an atheist? What is your opinion on how an atheist wedding should be? What is your opinion on having a religious wedding to satisfy family members?

Tags: atheist, prayers, religion, wedding

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Sorry, let me rephrase. I know that atheism doesn't exactly have a set way to live or anything. What would be right for YOU as an atheist? I am asking more of an opinion than a general consensus of how atheism should be.

Do what you and your fiance want.  Nosy mothers in law, etc. need to be firmly kept in their place--the ceremony is for you and your fiance, not for them.  If they insist that if they are paying for it they should call the shots... well you have the choice not to accept the big fancy wedding but to walk out of a smaller ceremony knowing that the people who it is for are the ones who chose what it would be.

You'll note this advice could be given to anyone, not just atheists.

You'll note this advice could be given to anyone, not just atheists.

Yes, I see. I was just curious as to other's opinions specifically on the religious side of a wedding ceremony. Perhaps some overlooked it for their partner who may be christian or some who fought for what they wanted.

 Thing is is that in this day and age one can have any theme of wedding they'd like. Get married by a friend who has been ordained a minister via the internet and throw a big party.

Have a look at Rowan Atkinson's "Father of the Bride" speech.  Every time I think of formal weddings and speeches, I remember this sketch.

It's hilarious... but it only works because the audience has no context--they don't know certain things that a real wedding party would.  (Can't elaborate any more without spoiling it.)

One thing that I haven't seen mentioned here is money. Weddings have become extravagantly expensive, and many people get this money from their parents. Even small weddings seem overwhelmingly expensive. Some parents are reasonable and give the money without strings, but others may use it to insert their opinion on what the wedding should be. If you do take money from family to pay for the wedding, make sure that it's clear up front what their involvement in the planning will be, and if it comes with stipulations don't take it or be prepared to give it back when a line is crossed.

The Wedding Industry is the bastard love child of the fashion industry and religion--in other words, it is pure, concentrated EVIL. I'm so glad I'm not a traditional type of person, or I might get sucked into all that insanity. As it is, I'd like to rent a dress (which is economically practical, if you think about it how often a puffy white dress gets worn) or wear something offensively colorful (come on, it's a celebration!) I think I might only buy catering, live music, and time at a space. I don't know if I'd even find it necessary to have a third party marry us.

A third party is unnecessary in Colorado.  I know a couple who had no one there--no one--other than a photographer.  Now that is a private ceremony.

Well you know if all else fails you can always go to the "First Church Of Atheism" and get wedded by an Ordained Atheist minister LOL


It was incredibly important to me to have no element of religion in my wedding. We hired a big red London bus to take everyone to the registry office in Camberwell, where a v close friend read that passage from Captain Corelli's Mandolin (you know the one). We walked down the aisle to 'You Got The Love' by Candi Staton and then jumped on the bus to a pub in Bankside on the river, for a bbq and drinks.

Compulsory wedding photos (yes, I'm wearing black) -->



Luckily for us, my mum was really supportive, I was never raised in any religion so it was easy. However if my other dh's family were paying, we would have had to fight for it not to be held in a church, and I probably would have held off until we were financially stable enough to pay for it ourselves. What's a year or two and probably a reduced budget if it means you're not standing there, lying, on your 'special day'?

You're all wrong. I's a trick question.

A free, thinking, secular, atheist person shouldn't need any kind of marriage, what about that? Why do you want to engage in an antiquated social construct which was mainly used sell women as commodity and let "God" keep tabs on people?

"Oh yeah lets engage in that nonsensical pact, because otherwise we're immoral, but lets save the prayer" ?

That's like going to a restaurant, ordering a big fat turd, and telling the waiter to "no corn please."

Getting married doesn't change anything either, it's the same relationship afterwards, except for the fact that you've now invited the government and lawyers into your love life. Brilliant.


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