Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Teri G on January 28, 2013 at 2:37pm

I would like a proper wedding, one with a cake and flowers and vows and family members all there. But I refuse to try and satisfy everyone when it's my wedding. 

Congratulations on your 40 year marriage, its rare these days.

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Permalink Reply by Teri G on January 29, 2013 at 3:27am

That's beautiful.

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Permalink Reply by Adam on February 26, 2013 at 3:37pm

Is that you Blaine? That's so cute

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Permalink Reply by Adam on February 26, 2013 at 8:02pm

Yea I know what you mean, life is too short

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Permalink Reply by Colleen on January 29, 2013 at 11:32am

This is so what I want when my boyfriend and I marry! Just the two of us celebrating what we know we have and want for our future. My boyfriend, however, really connects with tradition, so I'm sure we'll settle on a simple wedding. I keep trying to convince him that a ceremony under a tree and then a picnic reception would be fabulous, but he's not so sure our guests would love blankets as their tables/chairs. I think we could pull it off with just a few tables for grandparents and such.

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Permalink Reply by Gallup's Mirror on January 28, 2013 at 2:00pm

My question to you is, what would be right for an atheist? What is your opinion on how an atheist wedding should be? 

My wife and I are atheists and had a secular wedding. We couldn't find a Humanist minister to perform the ceremony so we went with an atheist Unitarian minister. We had the wedding outdoors in October with a theme of nature and leaves of autumn. We chose 'readings' from scientific and literary figures including Mark Twain. We wrote our own vows and pronouncements, and included a subtle reference to Star Trek (live long and prosper). We had a candle-lighting ceremony and gave harvest-themed gifts to the wedding party members.

We even put bowls of legos on all the tables at the reception. There were lego towers everywhere.  We didn't want a DJ or dancing but we had a classical guitarist. We told him to play any classical tune he wanted, but no hymns, nothing religiously themed, and absolutely no references to God. It all went great.

We figured it's our wedding. So we did it our way.

What is your opinion on having a religious wedding to satisfy family members?

My wife and I are both the sole atheists in our devoutly religious families. We told them we were writing our own vows and having a woman Unitarian minister. (We didn't mention she was a lesbian or mind that many of them incorrectly assumed she was a Christian.)

We wondered if some of them might protest or even refuse to come. We figured that would make a smaller wedding and thus be easier. But they all came to the wedding and had a great time.

If you're going to do it, do it on your own terms.

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Permalink Reply by Teri G on January 28, 2013 at 2:35pm

This is how I feel, that it's my wedding and should be planned around what me and my partner want. 

Your wedding sounds amazing, almost along the lines of what I was thinking. Love the lego idea!

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Permalink Reply by Strega on January 28, 2013 at 3:03pm

Lego

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Permalink Reply by Yahweh on January 28, 2013 at 4:20pm

You were not born to please others. You first, then others. So no religious weddings if you don't want it.

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Permalink Reply by Dale Headley on January 28, 2013 at 7:05pm

When I got married, it was by a Justice of the Peace.  I absolutely refuse to be part of any religious ceremony, including any marriage under the auspices of an entity in which I do not believe - God."  Think about it: if I recite the lines,"...so help me God," I've just given myself permission to not regard the marriage as a binding contract.  It's as though I signed the marriage license,"Donald Duck."  It renders it meaningless to an atheist. 

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Permalink Reply by Teri G on January 29, 2013 at 3:30am

You make a good point. Another reason for it not to be included in a proper wedding.

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Permalink Reply by Dero Bengalen on January 28, 2013 at 9:38pm

I say just go to a court house and then just use the money to take a long trip to Mexico or something.

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