In many religions you will first have to marry to the person you have sex with.  But we as atheists, don't have a life manual. So: What are your toughts on sex? 

What is the minimum age to lose your virginity? 

Would you have sex just for fun? 

Is it okay to have more then one sex partners? 

Of course not all the atheists are the same, we just have one thing in common: We don't have a religion. But I wonder what the most atheists think about it. 

Tags: Atheists, on, sex, toughts

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My thoughts on sex: It's an amazing thing - especially when shared with someone you love. And as an atheist myself, I see sex as just a good form of mutual expression of feelings, whether the feelings are mental/emotional, or just straight up physical.

I personally think 15 is a perfectly fine age. That's how old I was. So long as it's at least a little meaningful, then sure. I'm not a believer of Christianity, but a very firm believer in love.

And yes, I definitely think it's okay to have sex for fun! Most Christians do that now anyways, so it's not like we're totally off-track with that.

More than one sex partner is a thing that I think is up to the two people. It can be okay so long as your current partner is okay with it as well. I'm personally too jealous for stuff like that. ;P

It's such a straightforward topic that we atheist sometimes neglected it. Probably because we don't have a god watching our every single move.

I think everyone should be able to explore their own sexuality at an age that it might be appropriate, mid/late teens sounds good to me, but always responsibly and with the consent of both parties. So, sexual education it's very important.

About the amount of sexual partners, well meanwhile you're not hurting anyone's feelings and everyone you're having sex it's fine with it, go ahead. I mean, if you're fooling around and just having sex bodies and everyone consents to it, there's nothing the matter with it. But, if you are supposed to be in a monogamous relationship and you start fooling around and your partner is not ok with that, well that's another story.

Sex shall only be used for procreation....NOT.

I enjoy sex, i love my Os and i love the feeling.

Sex is looked as so immorally correct because it provides pleasure. We all know how much religions love to condemn pleasure.

My belief is simple: 2 consentual adults are allowed to have & enjoy sex.

As to the age I will have to say that 18 is appropiate because at this age a person has the ability to hopefully be responsible about it. All these STDs are due to a lack of sexual education.

If it includes samesex, bisexual, BDSM, anal, oral, or group sex it is ok to me as long as they have consent & enjoy it.

Certain religious doctrines regarding sex probably had practical value when they were first conceived; however, trapping practical consideration in a coat of impregnable superstition resulted in inflexible doctrines.  While religious moral code on sexuality does change, it does so in a manner that is slow, clumsy, and typically unreasonable.

As an atheist, I don't feel the need for sexuality ethics to be set in stone.  They should adapt to the needs of the times.  The four major areas I consider are consent, reproduction, physical harm, and culture.

Consent is tricky.  I don't think there is a decisive age in humans at which it can be given, and there are many contextual considerations.  Two twelve-year-olds exploring their sexuality together is a far cry from a thirty-two-year-old and a twelve-year-old.  Neither case is ideal, but the former case seems much more likely to be consensual, and the former far more likely to be predatory.  Even then, case by case, it's hard to say.  Past puberty, a person is biologically ready for sex (for the most part), but on a number of other fronts, puberty is a poor line to use.  The law for consent used to be fourteen years of age in my country, but was eventually raised to sixteen.  I have no strong feelings on this.

If I had children, I would want them to wait until at least sixteen, but would certainly understand if they didn't.  More than age, my concerns would be about their emotional maturity and personal responsibility (particularly where safe sex is concerned).

There are other cases where consent is harder to gauge.  People with varying mental disabilities/ conditions are still human and may be desiring of sexual interaction, but depending on their condition, it could be difficult for them to consent.  I don't know how that sort of things is handled.  In the case of non-human animals, as long as consent cannot be expressly given, I'd say it doesn't exist.

Reproduction: There is no shortage of people on the face of the planet.  We can safely stop expecting each and every person to reproduce.  If people want to have sex for fun, I think that's great.  In most cases, I'd say it's healthier to have sex for fun than it is to abstain save for procreation only.  Should every capable person be allowed to reproduce?  That's complicated.  If I say 'yes', there exists the potential to pass down harsh heredity disorders, or for people to be born into abusive family structures.  If I say 'no', or outline restrictions, that creates a whole host of practical complications as well as social rights issues.  Speaking only for myself, I do not consider it my right to reproduce.  If I have reason to believe that conceiving a child would quite likely lead to considerable suffering for that child, I would feel ethically obligated to not sexually reproduce.  For example, I passed on having sex on a couple of occasions as a teenager because no contraception was available at the time.  Why?  I couldn't take care of a potential child at that age.  Simple as that.

Physical Harm: My biggest consideration here is sexually transmitted disease.  I mean, going back to consent for a moment, a little bdsm ain't my business.  While it's not my thing on a personal level, I am not judgmental of swingers, orgies, polyamory (etc.) as long as all participants are in-the-know, but communicable diseases are a real and serious risk.  Even in much more conservative scenarios, there is typically still risk.  I have never slept with a virgin, myself.  For anyone I've slept with, if they wanted me to get tested first, I'd respect that. I'm all for trust in interpersonal relationships, but this is a question of personal responsibility. 

I can't address the last point due to character counts.

 

People don't magically become mature at 18. It's just an arbitrary date. Yeah, we expect people to be grown up by then, but some are mature before that and some aren't after.

It comes down to education. Teenagers should be taught about sex and contraception, so that when they have sex they're responsible about it

In my opinion, sex is a form of communication. I also feel that sex should be seen as meaningful. That doesn't mean it can't be fun. Sex is fun. As for the minimum age, I don't know that we can really set one. It depends on the maturity of the individuals involved. Some people are mature enough to handle sex in their mid teens, and some take longer to be ready. As long as they are mature enough to consent and handle sex responsibly, I don't see a problem with it. I believe in love and monogamous relationships, but truly it's none of my business what other couples do as long as they both agree to it. If swinging is their thing, then more power to them. I just wonder how meaningful sex is if it isn't consistently between two people who love each other. 

What are your toughts on sex? 

A fun thing between two or more people.

What is the minimum age to lose your virginity?

15-16 or thereabouts I guess, depending on maturity level and societal factors.

Would you have sex just for fun? 

Yes.

Is it okay to have more then one sex partners?


Yes. Also, "more than".

------

Removing religion from the equation demystifies the whole thing and there is no longer the associated expectation of feeling guilty in particular and emotions in general. I don't know too many religious people, but some of the ones I do know had to get married to have sex. Safe to say, a relationship based upon the lust and desire in the beginning of a relationship quickly sours, and all of them have since divorced. Better to base it upon love with sex as a cherry on top.

What are your toughts on sex?

It's nifty keen and fun! I think it's a bit overrated, but I have nothing against it.

What is the minimum age to lose your virginity?

Okay... taking this as it is stated: there is no minimum. Feel free to wait until you're 40. Go ahead.

but a lot of people seem to be thinking this is "what is the youngest one should lose their virginity?"  and I suspect you might mean that, too..

Age is mostly a number, though dabbling in the lower ranges is risky. I was 17 when I lost my virginity (she was 19). Maturity wibbles and wobbles so much around then.

Also I think the age of majority at 18 is kind of arbitrary. I haven't seen anything other than a political basis for that decision. (I could be wrong)

Still, it's a convenient number, and probably not FAR off. So if I have to nail down an age, I'll still declare a range, and say 18+/-2 (so 16-20).


Would you have sex just for fun?

I think I would (assuming it were safe and otherwise responsible). I have no moral qualms against it, though I wonder if it's suited to my personality.

Is it okay to have more then one sex partners?

At a time? ;)

Anyway: yes, it is okay to have more than one partner in one's lifespan. ALSO, I think it is okay to have more than one partner at the same time (as long as everyone's informed and consenting).

The only very strong argument for there being an age restriction on sex is one involving pregnancy. If, because of immaturity, two people bring a child into the world that cannot be cared for, it is highly immoral and will likely lead to great suffering. As far as being "too immature to handle it" is concerned, such choices can be made more effectively by the involved parties, since they have more information regarding their own readiness than outside observers. 

You cannot state, based on your own experience, what the age for everyone ought to be. This is nonsense. Of course, having no restrictions does leave scope for predatory behaviour and STIs etc, but formal education should help this. And importantly, the cultural stigma around sex means that young people are not exposed to it in a home environment, which makes them ignorant and more vulnerable to the dangers, such as predatory behavior. The casual education that might flourish without stigmatizing laws could be highly effective.

When thinking about the benefits of an age restriction (or any restriction) it should be considered that such a measure involves the trampling of basic liberties (which is arguably the greater crime). It may also result in many innocent people's lives being ruined by arbitrary laws. Punishment should be on a case by case basis, taking into account the evidence, not based on a blanket law that functions without evidence.

I think the answers to all of these questions are up to the individuals involved.  I find nothing morally wrong with sex when it is between any number of consenting persons.  I have my own preferences, and I certainly don't want anyone telling me how and when and with who to have or not have sex.  I'd like to pay others this same courtesy.

I also do not think that being ready to have sex really has anything to do with age (other than you're developmentally able to do so), but I do think that we as a society should share what we know with our youth so that when the time comes they can make an informed decision.  Having sex means taking on new responsibilities, and only you can decide when you're ready for that.  Unfortunately, many religions think that it is better to leave our youth in the dark, so that when they do decide to have sex (and some of them will - denial does not change this) they (and we as a society) can suffer the consequences of potential infections and pregnancy (and healthcare costs, and welfare, and foster care/adoption, and overpopulation, etc).

What are your toughts on sex?


I only share those thoughts in private so as not to scare or over excite anyone else.

What is the minimum age to lose your virginity? 

When a person has the maturity to understand and deal with any and all of the possible consequences.

Would you have sex just for fun? 


Is there another reason to?

Is it okay to have more then one sex partners?


At the same time or separately?  Never mind the answer is sure in both cases.

I'm going to answer before reading anyone elses comments...

My thoughts on sex: Not sure what you are expecting as answers for this, but I'll do my best. Sex can be two (or more) people, enjoying each others bodies (i.e. purely physical), or sharing the love they have for each other (i.e. emotional as well as physical).

Minimum age of virginity loss: I think this is heavily dependant on the individual. The absolute minimum is probably somewhere around 13 years old (this is the very early maturers only). Ultimately it is up to the individual, if they feel they are ready and have a partner who they are ready to do it with, then go for it. Might be worth noting here than I also believe sex ed should be part of school curriculum from grade 5 or 6 onwards.

Sex for fun: Yes. I've been with my partner for 9 years, and only now has she fallen pregnant.

Sex with more than one partner: At the same time, yes. Seperately, also yes. Seperately, but one is a long term emotional partner, still yes, but only with permission.

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Posted by Quincy Maxwell on July 20, 2014 at 9:37pm 17 Comments

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