Now that I'm an atheist, I need some new vocabulary.  "Oh my God!", "Good Lord!", Jesus Christ!", and "God damn it" all have to go.  What can I replace these God-isms with except for Atheism-isms - but which ones?  What else to say instead?  There ought to be a hand-book or something... let's make one.  And let's have fun (I hope) doing it.

Tags: christ, damn, god, good, it, jesus, lord, my, oh

Views: 253

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

i like the team america one "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ". lmao
Doone! That was pic was hilarious! Thanks.

Reply by Carl 14 hours ago
Spongebob Square pants uses the curse word, "Tartar sauce!" ;)

Carl - Did you ever see the Sponge Bob Square Pants episode where he went around swearing in every sentence he said but it was bleeped. Funniest Sponge Bob ever! How ya bleeping doing Patrick.

Reply by Fred Werther 17 hours ago
I am lousy at such too.
Oh Earth keep your tsunamis at bay. :)
In summer I say. Dear Sun I know you love me but this is just too hot!

Fred - That's funny. I especially like the one about the sun. I used to always say fucking this and fucking that but lately I have gradually changed over to freaking, frigging, and fricking. It's more acceptable in polite company lol. Sometimes I even throw in a fracking (I got that one from Caprica) lol.

Reply by Ed Spencer 18 hours ago
It's strange you posted this, I caught myself yesterday, thinking (not saying) "Oh My god" - when this happens I usually try to insert "shit fire".

Ed Spencer - When I lived Tennesse we pronounced it shit far. lol
I have to say, I really like taking the "lord's" name in vain. Personally, I like "Jesus Fucking Christ." I say it all the time--out loud, under my breath, in my mind.
My personal favorite: Oh your god!
Bender for the win!
For humor... I would try Spongebob cursing... lol
"Barnacles!" [a nice way of saying shit] "Neptune's Trousers!" [replace OMG] "Fish Paste!" [shit again] "Tartar Sauce!" [shit again] "Great Barrier Reef!" [OMG] "What in the Name of Davy Jones Locker?!" [WTH]


Or you can use the extensive array of  Captain Archibald Haddock's expletives(from Tintin). More listed here -


I'm Austrian and I started replacing the (back then most) common greeting "Grüß Gott" (Greet God) in my late teens with the more universal "Guten Tag" (Good day). Iirc, my initial reasoning was something like I can't force anyone to greet someone/an entity.

The exclamation of surprise "Oh Gott" was soon replaced by "Fuck", due to my love of the English language, which I try to use as much as possible - the versatility of fuck is so awesome which reminds me of this. Old but good.
Oops! I guess I didn't read all the comments!
I say them anyway. So what. I like holy shit, too. That's kind of religious.
Instead of Oh God! during climax you could say "Oh my Omega" or "Oh my Omega & Alpha!", or just exclaim the appropriate number "Oh, 10, 10!". Or even yelling out your favorite atheist's name "Oh my Dawkins!" or "Oh my Hawking!".
Try the sites or for possible substitutions. Finding and reusing older expressions can be fun. I particularly like "peckerhead". Or try coming up with a new combination of words like "suffering sucubus" or something from sci-fi shows/movies/books. I like calling someone a "damn cake sniffer". It takes them aback.


Support T|A

Think Atheist is 100% member supported

All proceeds go to keeping Think Atheist online.

Donate with Dogecoin



Favorite movie or actor/actress.

Started by Devlin Cuite in Small Talk. Last reply by Devlin Cuite 10 minutes ago. 5 Replies

Blog Posts

I am tired

Posted by Philip Jarrett on April 18, 2014 at 12:09am 2 Comments


  • Add Videos
  • View All

Services we love

We are in love with our Amazon

Book Store!

Gadget Nerd? Check out Giz Gad!

Into life hacks? Check out

Advertise with

© 2014   Created by Dan.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service