Now that I'm an atheist, I need some new vocabulary.  "Oh my God!", "Good Lord!", Jesus Christ!", and "God damn it" all have to go.  What can I replace these God-isms with except for Atheism-isms - but which ones?  What else to say instead?  There ought to be a hand-book or something... let's make one.  And let's have fun (I hope) doing it.

Tags: christ, damn, god, good, it, jesus, lord, my, oh

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Don't remember where, but so far my favorite creative atheistic explicative has been "Oh my imaginary god" by Loop Johnny.

Fornicating Black Holes and Pulsars!!

"TANSTAAFL!!!  There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch" Robert Heinlein, "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress".

TANJ There Ain't No Justice, Larry Niven, Somewhere, I think, in "Tales of Known Space."

Sweet Mythical Resurrecting Savior!
Oh My Anthropomorphic Projection to Counter My Personal Impotency and Fear of Nature!

Nah, those are too tough. Why not just replace "G-O-D" with fables or fiction?
Great Zeus! Oh my Harry Potter! Thor Damn It!

Personally my all time favorite curse is "Holy Fucking Shit". I think that covers everything nicely, without referring to divinity while encouraging reverence of terrestrial life and reproduction.

I would say, don't sweat it. Just use what you use - and I say that for a few reasons...

 

  1. Many xians, especially fundies, view any cursing that uses god/jesus in it is "blasphemous" - so xians that do this are technically being sacrilegious and hypocrites. "Do not take the lord's name in vain" and all that. Luckily, we don't have that hangup to worry about ;)
  2. We function as a society by not only using a common language, but also using words and phrases in our language that convey specific meanings - a "verbal shorthand" if you will. Using uncommon exclamations will get you funny looks at best, or at worst will get people so hung up on trying to figure out what you said and why you said it that they won't actually pay attention to that about which you are emphatically discussing.
  3. In a similar vein as #2, trying to reprogram yourself to use different curses and exclamations will most certainly interfere with your concentration and stream-of-consciousness as you try to communicate with others. There's really no need to put yourself through that - and we all have enough problems as it is in trying to communicate with others, without adding additional mental and linguistic speed bumps.
  4. As atheists we have enough problems in this society where people try to make us feel guilty for our convictions - we don't need to make ourselves or each other feel guilty for using whatever curses or exclamations we choose to use.
So, if I were you I wouldn't sweat it. Use the language that is most comfortable for you.

Oh My Gawed!

Oh for doG sakes!

Kryspy Kreme's nailed to a cross!

Mary mother of Joseph's bastard!

Holey cow! (leaking milk)

Holey Scripture! (full of holes)

Holey Nipple Twister, Batman!

I like "oh your god!" instead of "oh my god!" courtesy of Bender from Futurama.

The traditional cultural 'swear words' should remain the same or change as the opportunity for change arises.  In many cultures, derogatory words that are the equivalent of swearing in English arise based on unfavorable descriptions of acts, attitudes, objects, or especially sexual organs.  For example, in Thai, there is a childish swear word ("eup") to describe sexual coitus (and literally, a childish word: a child would use this word to describe two dogs having sex in the street, for example), there is a grammatical description of using sex to get ahead ("chai dtao dtai" instead of "chai dtai dtao", or roughly translated: "using your tits to get ahead" instead of "getting ahead by your hard work"), many objects, especially fish and mollusks, are used as sexual euphemisms (such as the word for 'oyster' being synonymous with the word for vagina, to the extent that, in intimate conversation, saying you want oyster sauce can prompt the question: "what kind?"), and my last two examples- and personal favorites- are the words "Ka-Ji-aow" (meaning, literally, "Little boy penis") and "Ma-kheua-phaow" (technically a breed of long green egg plant: in euphemism, an old man's penis that can no longer achieve an erection).

 

It's been my experience in many languages that acts done privately or which otherwise have the potential for embarrassment, or otherwise words that insult lineage or the outcome of your family, are the basis for most words of this genre.  Even words in English like "damn" describe an unfavorable outcome (damnation).  So with this in mind, I'd bypass the search for religious contexts to put atheist insults into altogether and, in the spirit of this topic, go for the balls.

In Quebcois the profanities all revolve around the church.  Calisse is the chalice for the win, osti is the wafer representing the body of Jesus, and tabernak is the little box in which they store the osti.  They also have mairde (shit) and putaine (whore), makng a good Qubecois rant, "Osti de tabarnak, calisse putaine de mairde!"

By the four balls of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

 

 

"Jesus FUCKING Christ" usually provokes a salutary response aswell.

Personally,  I like quoting Jake Blues, as he stood in the back of that revivalist church (full quote):

 

"The band!  The Band!!!  Jesus. H. Tap-dancing. Christ!!  THE BAND!!"

 

Gets me every time.

A personal favorite of mine is to loudly proclaim "Science! What have you DONE?"

 

Ah, odd stares in the library...:D

zut alors!

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