As a mother and Atheist ( for over 20 years) I've found the hardest aspect of being an Atheist and a parent - is finding community. Not just for myself - but for my children. Community and socialization are crucial in a child's development. I feel this in one of the most significant reasons there is less women in Atheism -  because there is less family in Atheism. In meet-ups, they are predominately male - and usually at libraries. 

They discuss philosophy and science ... Not child friendly. 
As you read statuses and updates by fellow Atheists- you'll notice us wives and our children omitted. Very rare - is the admission of wives, children, our family life. Women are the backbone of church -  they are what keeps 'faith' alive...But not faith in God, instead faith in family and community. If we want reason to grow - then we have to find a way to include the atheist family - to offer support and community for our growing families. To organize social groups that are centered on family life and provide that crucial social development and bonds through friendship and community that are for now , found mainly in church. We have to supply an alternative...This is what keeps many people I know from outting- fear of losing community and the bonds they've built. 

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I think I've became more anti-social , which is another thing I'm combating... We tend to draw inwards. I once was very outgoing and involved in the community, meetings and etc.... As I broke away, I lost friends. My children were soon no longer invited to houses to spend the night, to have birthday parties and etc. I'm going through this now with Mi'a & Taylor. I have a few good friends who I connect with as much as I can - but I admit, I've became very defensive and protective as a result of people judging me or being bigots. I do whatever I can for both children - even expose myself to people I dislike me or have no respect for me - in order for my kids to have something - rather than nothing. 

It is hard not to become anti social when every corner you turn people are judging you at the drop of a whim..

Trust me I can relate to that!

That's just the thing Thinks - It's not about me anymore. "It" has become about children ... Jeff and I primarily have been to ourselves. This ends up causing stagnation and no outlet for either of us - eventually I worry we'll start bickering at one another. I know Jeff is bored - I'm bored too . We go for exploration walks, night life stuff and etc - we need that interaction of friends to buffer the boredom. I'm not a depressed person- I enjoy communication with a varied circle of people. When I was younger - I was a little less caring or observant. Now I have 2 adult children who are Atheists and have had rather solitary lives as result. So, when I look at Mi'a and Tay- I don't want same for them . Teenage years were very rough with my daughter Tabitha. When she did manage to get accepted by a family- she clung. Same with boyfriends- who she hid us from and begged me not to say we were Atheists- even cried, horribly.

 

I too get snubbed... a lot. Jeff doesn't seem to be bothered by it too much ... He doesn't want to do birthday parties and play dates. I do ... i want our kids to have good memories of their childhood and have strong, solid friendships. I'm the one who tries and does do charity events, I run them if I can ... I do the writing, the artwork and etc. if they discover I'm Atheist, all 'hell' breaks out. This just recently happened on toy run.

 

I tell myself to be happy -  I am happy. I just really miss being involved in activities, in socializing. I cringe when it's time for my kids birthdays ...

 

 

Oh gosh, I lost my best friend a year ago because I came out. I wrote a note saying "I'm an atheist and I'm happy." and she messaged me saying "Ohhh Caitlin you know I love you but I can't follow you down this path, I wish you would have asked me about God and Jesus" and promptly deleted me and blocked me.

 

I still cry over that. A 12 year friendship, down the drain. Augh.

Ooooooooo, I know all about that kind of a blow. But try me and my best friend were friends for 20 years and it wasn't even because I said I was an atheist. It was because "she got saved" and told me that my dabbling in new age (at the time) was "of the devil". I have not spoken to her since. We need to talk lol. I'll send you a TA friend request. lol

That's why I walked away from recent toy run, after doing all that work.

I chose to think of myself as out of step with society not anti social but as a parent of two young girls I hate to see the stress they have being out of step and b/c of their maturity the absolutely last thing they want to be is out of step.    

It gets worse , trust me ... Girls are vicious. Alex really didn't have problems - boys just didn't care. Girls on other hand - ? Fist fights, nasty FB posts , school fights... The list goes on. When she did manage to get 'in' with friends , parents immediately called me and were concerned for their children being around us and asked ME to respect their beliefs. Meanwhile - they preached and constantly tried to indoctrinate Tabi. She had problems in school programs too - the girls more so than guys - black balled her. She dropped out of everything - including equestrian, 4-H. At 4-H events and meetings - no one spoke to me and I was never given the floor or tabi was snobbed. It was pretty rough.

That's as a result of the media sensationalism and anti-intellectualism in America. They have a deep seeded fear and ignorance of socialism and communism.

Thanks - Mia said , " Momma , move it , move it , I like to shake it, shake it ..." Madagascar movie... 

I WANT ONE!!!! Those are just the cuttest things ever!! ♥

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