So when I was working today my openly gay boss came back while doing some back of the house work, and naturally we engaged in some conversation. I just found out he was gay the other day, and I just couldn't believe until he told me.  A matter of fact, he even called himself a "fagot" never ever thought I'd hear that.  I have theory onto where the word fagot came from.  Possibly humorous in nature or offensive, but that's a different story for a different day.

Anyways, I am a new born Agnostic I guess you could say, still kinda fence sitting betweem Atheism and Christianity, but I feel more drawn to Atheism every day...and Gary's case only solidifies it.  Gary was once married, had kids, and in fact married to this woman longer than he was openly gay.  He says always kinda knew he was, but just kinda ignored...but his mid life crisis rolled around and thats when he told her what was up.  I can't really imagine what it would be like to go through all that, on his wife, kids, and even Gary. It'd be difficult situation, especially considering they were married for 15 years.  

Anyways so me and Gary got into the topic about Gay marriage...and we both agree it's not so much the word married that grinds our gears, but rather the "rights" part of it.  Why shouldn't a partner be beside each other when one is about to pass?  Especially after 30 years of partnership, these kinda things came from Gary, and I heartfully agree with him.  Because marriage is a religious thing, and chances are even in East Tennessee, a homosexual person isn't going to be super religious (however with the slight growing acceptance of homosexuality among some denominations, that could change).  So therefore the word marriage is meaningless, it's simply the rights part of it.  He said he could care less about a tax deduction. Love is love.  Agreeable.

Anyways I'm getting off topic, so I told him I'm accepting of gay, lesbian people in my community, however I can't quite wrap my head around the bisexual thing...and he said that's good but disagreed about the bisexual thing and stated "Lot's of creatures are homosexual, take the mental part out of it...what are we Nathan?" I just looked at him, confused as if he was insinuating something "Animals!"
So true so I reply "Yeah but the difference between us and dog is the ability to reason..."
then this truly was an interesting " I guarantee you evolution wouldn't fail on this one, if I go out there grab...well your an employee, if i go out there and grab a male customer by the balls, he's going to get an were technically bisexual by nature" By the way this mainly came up because I asked him if he enjoyed sleeping with a woman...apparently he did, because as far as I'm concerned, pressure is pressure. be it being a woman's part, male's buttocks. or your own holy hand.

But the notion that we are all born bisexual kinda left a note on my mind. I'm in fact a heterosexual male, and gary stated while we may not like mentally, our body most likely would not be able resist such actions, and reactions...what do you guys think? and sorry I know this is a mouthful.

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I am a woman and the thought of having sex with another woman makes me queezy (and that's an understatement), but there was this one time when I got really drunk and... oh heck, never mind.
It happens lol
I actually have always wondered. How does a woman have "sex" with another woman? The act I am imagining is rather tragic and confusing with a lot of "thud" noises.
People put too much value and thought into penetration.

There are a lot of people out there who like oral sex (hetero or gay or bi) as much or possibly more than sexual intercourse.
Still referring to oral sex as "sex" seems a little silly. All those other things seem obvious but no one act is the lesbian version of "sexual intercourse"? We all know what males do, the females are rather vague in this area
I liked how they answered the question "what do lesbians do?" in the show Skins:

Sexual intercourse is characterized by the male penis entering the vaginal canal of a female human being. We shortened that term to say "sex" in this discussion and in modern society. In homosexual males that sexual intercourse is characterized by the male penis entering the anus of their male partner. Now for two of three possible combination's sexual intercourse or sex is clearly defined, it's when it comes to lesbianism that I don't know what "sexual intercourse" consists of.

I don't really care, but for completion sake I do like to have actual answers to my questions and not vague non descript responses. Either lesbians have ONE act they commonly refer to as "sexual intercourse" or they have many that they refer to as "sex". I was merely asking for clarification

Say you're my girlfriend and you asked me what I did with your best friend, I replied saying I had sex with her and you immediately understand what I mean. Now imagine I am a girl and you're my girlfriend and again you asked me what I did, if I said I had sex with your best friend you'd again have to ask further to find out what went on if your description of lesbian intercourse is true.
You could not have possibly used more words to provide less information. Again you recede back into vague nonsensical terminology instead of getting down to brass tacks. I will clarify the question I asked once again because I really dislike people who repeatedly beat around the bush.

Is there a single act which can be applied to lesbian "sexual intercourse" or is simply inserting any body part or foreign object into your partner lesbian sex? Quite frankly, is lesbian sex one act or is it many acts? If you do not know than say so and we can pursue an answer together. What I am beginning to draw from this is that you indeed do not know.

Edit- Through about 15 different hits on google I have come to the conclusion that lesbians are the only sexual group to not have "sex". They simply get off mutually through a myriad of different techniques.
So then lesbians are the only group who don't have a distinguishable "sex" act.
Sorry, what is the third or fourth option then if this is a false dichotomy? You even confirm the latter option 2 responses down: "There are several acts that are validly and properly considered sexual intercourse between lesbians."

I have to agree with Kris. I realize there are multiple things that can be considered "sex" between lesbians, but does a lesbian make an assumption that any particular act has happened if another lesbian said she had sex last night? There are, after all, some safe assumptions:
1. She does not mean they played golf
2. She does not mean they had a long talk
3. She does mean something physical took place
4. She may mean there was emotional intimacy involved, though this is possible with or without sex, and doesn't always happen with sex, so it doesn't seem to bear much on the question.

Now, maybe some lesbians do consider golf sex, but I'm not looking for an answer that includes every possible interpretation of sex.

I guess the point is, is if sex includes EVERYTHING, then why bother saying you had sex? Since it can't properly be defined as a emotional intimacy, it is then a meaningless statement. Few people, save for priests, generally spout meaningless crap for no reason. (Heck, I'm having sex with my dog right now, and by sex I mean I'm petting her head.)

So what does one lesbian think another lesbian has PROBABLY done when she says she had sex last night? Of course she might be wrong in her assumption since maybe she's thinking act X when it's really act Y, but is there a particular X that comes to mind first? In other words, I'm looking for the most common act or acts, not a dictionary definition that says sex is meaningless because it can mean anything.

Alternatively, if you still don't want to tie it to specific acts, what would you consider the nature of sex to be? What qualifies something for inclusion in the definition of sexual intercourse, if not emotional intimacy or certain types of physical intimacy (which don't include head petting)? "Acting on lustful desires' is the closest thing I can come up with, so long as lust is differentiated from other desires like hunger, craving for touch, desire to make someone you love feel good (dog example again), etc.

So...your choices:
1. Is there any assumed act, though it is only assumed with the knowledge they might be wrong?
2. Sex means a particular type or types of connection that involve the physical...and if so, please clarify
3. An alternative you're aware of that I'm not or that I haven't enumerated.
4. You still would rather attack our desire to know what words mean, or you insist we should assume lesbians could mean golf when they say they had sex, because the word is so meaningless to you.
Also: "I also don't see why tribidism where contact is genitals to genitals would be any less sexual intercourse for lesbians than a heterosexual case of sex through genital to genital contact."

Um...when heteros do that, they call it humping or grinding or whatever, not the common definition of sex. But at the same time, I don't deny that it would be legitimate for lesbians to call grinding sex in their case, if they so choose. Just not the commonly understood definition in the hetero world. And that's all we're looking for - commonly understood definitions among lesbians.
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