Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Austin Fisher on April 13, 2011 at 11:08pm

Just tell her. She may throw a fit, but if she's worth having in your life then she will understand.

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Permalink Reply by Daniel King on April 14, 2011 at 6:33am

Well of course she'll love me, since I'm her grandson. But it's not that easy. I might just let her find out.

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Permalink Reply by Voodoobones on April 14, 2011 at 2:09pm

No, you're not the only one who hides your atheism from your grandma. I hide my atheism from your grandma too. ;)

 

Seriously, there are some things I do just to keep the peace. My parent in-laws have no idea that I am an atheist. I have no problem with it. Everyone is happy and I have no need to tell them. Now that might change if they start to force Catholicism on me. Then they will be in for a shock.

 

But for now, ergo bibamus!

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Permalink Reply by Michelle Portman on April 14, 2011 at 8:38pm

I am the same way, I've tied telling my parents, lets just say it doesn't work out.

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Permalink Reply by Anne on April 14, 2011 at 9:20pm

I never thought I would be in the "closet" about anything. Even here in the heart of the Bible Belt, I normally would not hide who I am. However... my mother had a stroke two years ago and I returned home to care for her. (She is much improved in the meantime.) My mother and I share a general aversion to religion, evangelical denominations in particular after her upbringing in a fire, hell and brimstone Pentecostal church, as well as non-theistic beliefs. My sister, on the other hand, is a VeRy devout evangelical Christian who is convinced that homosexuals are taking over the world (wouldn't that be grand?!) and that Creationism is the ONLY logical way to explain existence. This was fine when I was living in San Francisco... a world away from these back waters. The problem I have now is that we are living in a home that my sister owns due to financial considerations. I do not feel that I can be open about what I (we) believe because we must keep the peace until we can find our own place to live and also because of the fragile health of my mother.

 

I think this is a very personal decision. I do not believe it right to think that people are misrepresenting themselves when they choose not to disclose some aspect of their lives... even an important one. My journey is my own. My life intersects with other people's - be they family, co-workers, friends, etc. - at different points. I am not obliged to share anything with anyone, even family. Those who have my trust, who love me - it is with them I share my deeper life. Someone like my sister is not capable of rational discussion and sharing of thoughts without becoming emotionally unstable. Just the fact that I will not go to church with her and that she feels she cannot talk to me about Jesus has created a barely tolerable tension.  I choose not to put myself and my mother through that more than necessary.

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Permalink Reply by Rose on April 15, 2011 at 12:52am

My grandmother isn't a zealot. She's very open-minded for an older person. She'll be 92 this year.

I hide it from her, mostly  because she's senile. She has early stages of Alzheimer's Disease. If I told her, she wouldn't understand, not because she's narrow-minded, but because she just doesn't have the capacity to. It would be pointless to bring up and it doesn't really matter anyway. I love my grandmother, so why cause any unnecessary confusion?

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Permalink Reply by Vinod on May 4, 2011 at 11:37am

I used to be in the same situation as yours. I disclosed it to my dad and mom just recently only to see them shell-struck ! But I think they are gradually coming to terms with it.

 

Well, rest of my relatives have taken me for an outcast. They don't know I'm an atheist. When they do come to know about that, I'm sure that won't come as a surprise them at least. HA!.

 

And hey, Welcome! :)

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Permalink Reply by Akshay Bist on May 4, 2011 at 12:03pm

I don't hide my views from anyone. I won't go and introduce myself as an atheist, but if the topic does come up I don't shy away from defending my beliefs.

And most of my family know. They kinda inferred it from by behavior when I was teen. No real problems there. Guess they don't know the real extent of my atheism.

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Permalink Reply by Tim Fitzgerald on May 17, 2011 at 1:25pm

Plus 1! Im pretty much the same. Wont hide it under any circumstances if it arises. And most of my family kinda figured it out a good while ago anyway.

 

 

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Permalink Reply by Akshay Bist on May 4, 2011 at 12:30pm

BTW, welcome to TA Daniel

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Permalink Reply by Vinod on May 5, 2011 at 12:08pm

Some old folks just can't take it.

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Permalink Reply by Clarissa Price on May 15, 2011 at 2:46pm

I hide it from most of my family and my mother tells me not to discuss religion with people down here in the south cuz shes scared someone will end up killing or hurting me. So I sit there and just think how ignorant people can be. I even hide it from her girlfriend.

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