It's tiring, and annoying, but needs to be done.
The thing is, it comes to a point where it's priorities that need to be evaluated. Unfortunately many religious family members would rather you play religious than actually know the real you. I have recently come out of the secularist/agnostic closet to my parents and it wasn't easy, and I don't think they really realize it, or they still want to deny it. The thing is, the way I figure it, if they want a real relationship with me then they need to accept me for who I am, if they don't I can keep faking it, but I'll fake it from a very far distance (currently living in Korea) in order to keep my sanity. It would be tiring to be where most all other beliefs are relentlessly mocked, ranted against, and vilified.
And there's my rant!
Isn't it awesome that so many people pretend to be somebody else just for the sake of other family member's feelings? Isn't it sweet and caring that people would rather hide their true self then to share who they are with the people that they are family with?
To me, it is most definitely not.
I'd rather show who I am and hurt a few people's feelings in the process then that I would hide who and what I am. To hide who you are from your family members is a sign of disrespect in my opinion, it's as if you are the judge of what part of you your family members can be trusted with for their sake. Isn't it a more beautiful gesture to be honest and truthful to your family?
But then again, that's my opinion based upon what it would mean to me if I were to hide who and what I am from my family. I can understand that if you don't feel or think this way about it, you might very well have a contrary opinion that is equally valid to you.
My grandfather died recently. He was super worried about my salvation not too long beforehand. I was home for Thanksgiving and he cornered me to ask about it. He started crying. I told him I was saved, but I don't think he believed me. My mom was oblivious to his need to believe I was a Christian, and blabbed it to both grandparents.
My heart breaks when I think of him, just because I know this thing was not resolved. I know he's gone now, and it doesn't hurt him anymore, but I wish his last memory and thought of me could've been positive and happy. I wanted him, of all people, to be pleased with who I had become. I feel like I deeply disappointed him, and that hurts in a way I find hard to express. It's not that he didn't love me after finding out... it's that he loved me so, so much... and only wanted the best for me. Even though I think prayer is useless, there was still something special about knowing he said a prayer for me every, single day. Just knowing I was on his mind every day meant a lot.
Like I said in a different post, I wish my grandma didn't know. I didn't tell her. I feel betrayed that my mom told her.