Let me just clarify, that this is not the first time I had thoughts like this. I was a Catholic for 18 years, stop believing that after that time.When I was 25 I contemplated on the faith of deism in the past, but eventually found no evidence to support it, so declared myself an atheist again.
I was in a strange sort of humour the other night and just out of curiosity I prayed just to see what would happen. I asked god to give me stretch to believe to show me a sign that he is there, to give me the wisdom to know that he is there. I told god I know that he cannot show me testable evidence and I accept that. I feel asleep moments after that. But hours later I awoke to a light tapping on my arm that lay outside my bedcovers. It was almost like a gentle but firm tapping of someones hand. Btw, I lock my room at night. I thought maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. But was it? Did I just feel the hand of God?
Please be aware I am very open to the strong possibility that my mind was indeed playing tricks on me. But honestly, I just don't know what to believe or not to believe now. Please don't be mean or harsh to me about this. If I am wrong in what I say here, I'll accept that given reason
Am I losing my mind though? I just need a perspective from non-beleivers to look at all possibilities here.