I'm considering becoming a foster parent and/or adopting through the foster care system. There is a HUGE need for foster parents and a very short supply of people willing to do it. The kids that get pushed through the system are good kids, they just have been through a lot of really tough stuff. Abuse, neglect, you name it. So yet most if not all of them have problems. Christians and other religious groups often pride themselves for being the ones who "step up to the plate" so to speak and it's often said within the religious communities that they are meeting the need above and beyond any other group religious or not. I would like to disagree with. I'm wondering who here has adopted (if you feel compelled to share your stories that would be awesome...) Anyone considering adoption? Anyone already been a foster parent? I live in a state where same-sex couples may adopt and I wish it were like this everywhere...maybe some day. But for those who are unable to adopt for this reason or being single parent etc. please share your point of view as well. Thanks!!!!

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I'm pretty certain that I would have if I had fertility problems. Im pretty maternal and I always wanted children. I stayed home with mine when they were little and I looked after other peoples children in my home to earn an income. I fostered a little boy for 12 months during that time. It worked out well with him and I have considered doing it again in the future.

.But I hear that its not all good with fostering older children who have probably already had 30 caregivers by the time theyre only 10. They are the ones who would be challenging because they dont trust and need the most help.

If I had loads of money I would possibly look at adopting children from overseas. I really like the idea.

I'm very interested in childrens rights.

Children are just like the Great Apes, they need people to speak up for them.

 

Hello Belle. my wife and I have four children, two of whom, our first two, we adopted. Our first lived with us since her birth, our second came to us as a foster when his mother became too ill to look after him. he was born profoundly deaf, had been neglected and was 15 months old. He came with many, many problems and his first three months were hell, the first year difficult but today he is ten years old and the easiest of our children. My wife was adopted herself and grew up with foster brothers and sisters so she came with a wealth of experience all backed up my very wise and sensible in-laws. Happy to share more if you would like, just be aware that adopted children always need more care and attention and a very united front from their adoptive parents (you CANNOT ever be divided or even appear to be divided in your approach with them - you may as well hand the child back and go file for divorce now if you have any divisions).
Good luck, Nina.
Extra credit for not contributing to overpopulation. I'd like to adopt when the time comes, and hope my significant other won't be down with childbirth. But if it's what she wants, I'll... um, give it to her.

Adoption appealed to me beginning in my early teens and I thought I would have a blended family or a family of all adopted children. Now I realize I'm not parenting material. People who are willing and able to adopt or foster are very special, indeed. 

I would do a lot of research before parenting any child, because it never hurts to be aware of what you're getting into. I also think it's important to go into fostering with a good support system for you personally and for the child(ren) as well. I wish you the best of luck.

I plan to adopt a child (or two) within 3 or so years. I found an adoption agency that serves my area and single lesbians, which would be me. I know it will be a lot to raise a child on my own, but I don't want to spend my life waiting for someone to come along so I can continue with my plans, and I don't want my plans driving me to desperation, either. I can do this. What I'm not clear on is whether I'll be able to name my child and whether I'll be able to homeschool him/her. Both issues are important to me.

I have not dipped my toe into the gene pool, but I have raised 6 children. I still have two living with me and my girlfriend (13 and 18 year old girls) The rest are spread throughout the US now. The 13 year old was adopted at age 3 and was born drug exposed. Life has been good and she was recently accepted into one of the top high schools in the country with an academic scholarship.

Not all foster/adoptive parents are as fortunate, so as others have said, do your homework and be very aware of potential/possible issues. My girlfriend gave her adopted daughter 100 kisses a day for several years so that she knew she was wanted and loved.

Bottom line, without going into the "novels" I occasionally post on TA, is that all appropriate interactions with children will make your life and their lives richer and more fulfilling. Good luck and feel free to friend me and contact me via message if you would like more info. I have tons of it, but I am trying to be more succinct in my posts. 

 

http://www.unicef.org.au/Discover/What-we-do/Convention-on-the-Righ...

I think that in foster care they like to try to fit in with your family. They might offer you someone more your sons age. 

Older foster children can be very hard wired and they like to steal your stuff and generally not really care about you. You would have to be prepared for that.

But I still think that if you can manage this kind of work knowing that you often have to say goodbye to kids youve grown attached to then good on you because there is always a shortage of good foster carers.

Belle, although this is LGBT related, maybe it can work for you, too. Here

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