Adoption vs IVF vs Natural birth
Why aren't more people adopting children? How does it matter if you are the child's biological parent or not? You're going to treat different an adopted child? You can't love an adopted child? People should consider adoption before natural birth. Why do people even consider IVF? It's so expensive... you can adopt a child and save the money for his/her future, maybe college.
I guess I'm a little antinatalist and I would never bring a child into this shitty world. If I'm ever going to be able to raise a child I'm going to adopt one. And don't you tell me that this should be just my opinion, and that you respect it and I should respect whatever other people decide and all that crap. We, as people, can only gain by adopting. We could solve problems like famine, overpopulation, and many others, only if we'd care a little more. Some solutions are right in our faces but we look the other way.
Tags: IVF, adoption, natural birth
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Julien on -
Adopting from the U.S. foster care system is generally the least expensive type of adoption, usually involving little or no cost, and states often provide subsidies to adoptive parents. - Source
One of my father's cousin and his wife adopted a child because they could not have biological children. I don't think they paid thousands of dollars, mainly because they don't have that kind of money. Of course, they're both romanians, I don't know how things work in the United States.
And why should you pay if you want to adopt a child? That's stupid. Where do those money go?
I always thought that you don't have to pay if you want to a dopt a child, and that in some cases you receive a montly fee.
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Permalink Reply by M on -
It is less expensive to adopt locally (ie, the United States) via the foster care system. It's a few thousand dollars rather then tens of thousands.
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Permalink Reply by Julien on
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Is America really that fucked up? I never heard of paying money to adopt a child. Maybe it's just me but you can't put a price on a human being. And really, what are they doing with those money? Do they use it to take a better care of those who aren't adopted?
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Permalink Reply by Doug Reardon on -
We paid about $10,000.00. Part went to pay for her to get a lawyer, and the rest went to pay for medical care. And yes, America really is that fucked up!
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Permalink Reply by M on
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I wonder if they are "testing" to see that you're financially able to care for a child? Not that I agree with it-- I think there are ever so many people who don't have 10K or more just lying around in savings who are still financially able to care for a child. And love them immensely. And improve their lives a million-fold.
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Permalink Reply by M on
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I second this. I also personally really wanted to experience pregnancy. My husband and I may still attempt adoption in the future.
And although this would not deter some, it may others: children in the "system" waiting for adoption often have numerous emotional/psychological and/or physical problems that will require a lot of patience, finances, resources, etc. to properly address. Children from foreign countries have sometimes been in orphanages since birth and have never bonded with another human being. Studies have shown that certain neurological pathways are not formed, and the child will never be able to create relationships. Children in foster care may be a "drug baby" (born addicted to a chemical substance), have been physically or sexually abused, or suffer from severe cognitive and/or physical defects. These are children who have gone through hell and have the battle scars to prove it. Certainly that makes them, if nothing, more deserving of adoption rather than less, but it takes certain people who are up for the job-- and prepared-- to be good parents to these children.
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Permalink Reply by Julien on
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An accident like that of baby switching proves that it doesn't matter if it's your biological baby or not. You still raised him, still loved him, even if you had no idea it was not really your biological child.
When an adopted child grows up and is told by his/her parents that he/she is adopted, do you think that the child would like to meet some people who never even give him/her a fair chance?
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Permalink Reply by Radu Andreiu on -
I agree with almost everything you said. Adoption would solve many, many problems. It could also have unpredicted or undesired results, such as restricting the gene pool, or reducing the number of people of certain races, or other things.
Anyway, if done properly, adopting children would be the rational way to go if we want to make the world a better place. However, people are mostly driven by emotions, not rationality, and there are very few people who actually want to make certain sacrifices (beyond a very low limit) and the world a better place.
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Permalink Reply by Julien on
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I don't see adoption as a sacrifice. What sacrifices you have to do when adopting? I think this is just a matter of ego. Some people think they are just so great that the world would actually suffer if their bloodline would end with them. You are a good parent if you give your child a decent living, a proper education and a lot of support.
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Permalink Reply by Radu Andreiu on
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Well that's the sacrifice right there. Not having a biological child is a sacrifice for most people who want children.
Anyway, you don't hear me blaming my parents for having biological children instead of adopting. Plus, you can't force people to do what they don't want to do, even if it's "for the greater good", if there is such a thing.
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Permalink Reply by Julien on
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Yeah... but I'm trying to figure out why they see that as a sacrifice.
People that went through hell in their lifetime might blame their parents for bringing them in this shitty world.
You can't force people to do what they don't want to do, but you can show them that it doesn't really matter if it's their biological child or not, and that in fact they are in fact helping solve some of those problem they often complain about.
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Permalink Reply by Becca on -
I am in support of people in general really taking the time to consider if adoption is right for them. The love for an adopted child is the same as the love for a biologocal one but parents who wish to adopt need to keep in mind that there are some uniques issues that an adopted child can have and they should prepare themselves for them. You cannot treat an adopted child in every respect just like you would treat a biological child.
I am in support of making adoption a more accessible and affordable option to those people who wish to adopt. I think that any single person or couple regardless of gender or sexual orientation should have equal chances of becoming adoptive parents. And of course I am in support of making sure adopted children are going to loving, safe homes.
Ever since I was a kid I've always thought to myself that adoption would be a great choice for me. I hope to one day adopt children. The one thing that has a large potential to get in my way is money. As Adriana stated adoption in the USA is oftentimes prohibitively expensive.
AS for IFV I don't like it at all. It's unnecessary. I'd never make that choice for myself and I strongly encourage potential parents who are having trouble conceiving to pick adoption over IFV. (Really I'd be ok if IFV was something that just wasn't offered.)
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