I’ve been working out of town, in Lynchburg Virginia, the past two weeks and staying in a motel. Every morning I go downstairs to have my breakfast. This past Sunday I was eating breakfast and there was a woman standing by the microwave which was close to my table. “How are you this morning?” she asked.  “I’m fine, thank you” I responded, I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to talk in the morning. I’m also a live and let live person and am always polite, but I wasn’t interested in getting into a conversation.
    “We came here to go to the church across the street,” (Thomas Road Baptist Church, the one Jerry Falwell founded) “we came to hear (somebody?) Sing.” I didn’t say anything.
    “Are you going to church today?”
    “No I’ve got to work today.” I said, hoping she would get her food and go sit down somewhere.
    “Well you know the lord don’t you?”
    Oh brother, I thought, I really didn’t want to go there. “Oh yeah, “I lied wishing this to be over. I was getting irritated now. I really didn’t want  to get into a discussion about beliefs .
    “That’s what I’m all about, this life isn’t all there is you know.”
    This whole encounter I felt like was an invasion of my privacy. I would have liked to have told the woman to mind her own business, but I really just wanted to finish my breakfast in peace.
    I’m just wondering if any of you have had a similar experience, and how you handled it, or how I may have handled this differently.

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I have. The phone number I have right now, apparently belonged to someone who did a lot for this church, not far from where I live. Every now and then I get a phone call from someone looking for this person that I've never met. For the purpose of this will call him Bob.

The phone call goes something like this, "High this is (the church, I don't really care about the name so I don't bother to remember it) Is this Bob?"

In a very polite and cheerful tone, I answer, "No, I'm a gay, liberal, Atheist, May I help you understand the world today?"

The ensuing stutters or stupefied silence always brightens up my day. :D

I feel inspired now to design some kind of Pastafarian business card that takes a loooong time to read and comprehend, or is written in some kind of made-up language that can't be understood. A graphic on it might look like a church, but with an FSM logo. And one or two appropriate web addresses.

"Sorry, no speak English. Here, my church, on internet... I eat now..."

I usually tell them that I don't believe in gods (making sure the plural is noticeable) and let it go from there. But then, I often enjoy the resulting conversations, even if they don't.

Just reply with.. "Did you know you can make money selling Amway"?  Then ask her if she and her husband would like to get together after church to talk about it.

She'll run away!


Not all of them will run in the other direction.  There's an Amway group in Virginia that holds worship service right before their big regional "business meeting".  Thus, where there is one, there is bound to be another.


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