Consultative only. I've known a few women who've received promises of daddy-ship from the guy, only to have him walk away in the late months of pregnancy or soon after birth. The male can always change his mind, the female is almost always stuck with the result.
It's a matter of "the buck stops here".
I as a human can only count on myself. To make any decision that will affect my daily life for the next 18-20 years based on someone else's promises is simply not reasonable. It's not about stereotypes, it's about where the ultimate responsibility rests. When I pay the final price, it is my decision. If any other individual wants to help out... fine, but it's on no more than a momentary basis.
That type of male does not deserve the title of sentient human being and I really wish women did not procreate with such violent minded males. In addition to that... males don't even know it's their offspring unless the female tells them... so your words simply encourage any future spouse of yours to not be truthful.
If that's the way you feel, I recommend having a talk about abortion before you become sexually active with a new partner.
However, you'll still have to remember that, ultimately, it's her body so the decision is hers.
7 billion and counting, beautiful precious miracles wandering around out there.Many of them sick starving unloved and unwanted, abused mistreated and uncared for.
It is nobodies damn business why a woman would elect to terminate a pregnancy.
If you think you are so capable of angst over the philosophical question, what makes you think a pregnant woman is not equally capable of torturing herself over the decision.
The reasons a woman would chose to terminate a pregnancy are her own.
If you don't think abortion is appropriate, don't have one. If you want to force your "ethics" on someone else, become a priest.
I'd make a parallel with a French saying I very much like:
"A fool who knows he's a fool isn't as quite as foolish as a fool who doesn't."
An irresponsible person who knows they're irresponsible, has an abortion, is less irresponsible than the irresponsible person who doesn't know, and goes ahead and becomes an irresponsible parent. Being "responsible" is not something just one becomes with a simple decision, it is in our character, we're either apt to be parents or we're not, imposing parenthood on an "irresponsible" person is not the solution. Nor is increasing the number of orphans and foster kids.
'An irresponsible person who knows they're irresponsible, has an abortion, is less irresponsible than the irresponsible person who doesn't know, and goes ahead and becomes an irresponsible parent. Being "responsible" is not something just one becomes with a simple decision, it is in our character, we're either apt to be parents or we're not, imposing parenthood on an "irresponsible" person is not the solution. Nor is increasing the number of orphans and foster kids.'
Ok, but not ONLY irresponsible people become pregnant accidentally. All contraceptives have a fialure rate, so even if you are using two forms of birth control, there is no way to completely eliminate the possibility of becoming pregnant.
Condom failure rate: 14% (male condom); 21% (female condom)
Oral contraceptive failure rate: 5%
Cervical Cap failure rate: 20% (before childbirth); 40% (after childbirth)
Diaphragm failure rate: 20%
Fertility awareness (rythm method) failure rate: 25%
Spermicide (only) failure rate: 26%
Sponge failure rate: 20% (before childbirth); 40% (after childbirth)
Withdrawl failure rate: 19%
Okay, the methods below are better, but they still have a failure rate and are still going to produce unwanted pregnancies...
Depo-Provera injection failure rate: 0.3%
Intrauterine device (IUD), copper, failure rate: 0.8%
Intrauterine device (IUD), progesterone, failure rate: 2%
Lunelle injection failure rate: 0.1% - 1%
Ortho-Evra patch failure rate: 0.1% - 1%
EVEN STERILIZTION CARRIES A 0.5% FAILURE RATE IN FEMALES AND A 0.2% FAILURE RATE IN MALES!!!
The only method of birth control that 100% guarantees that you will not become pregnant is abstinence. In a perfect world, people would not have intercourse before they are ready to become parents, but this is not a perfect world and, let's face it, even if it were, do you actually think that everyone would go for this? It denys our very nature. Look what happens to catholic priests after years of denying themselves the 'sins of the flesh' (yes, I am thinking of the Rocky Horror Picture Show right now - LOL). And, then, even abstinence does not guarantee your safety - that you are not going to get raped one night in some dark alley and become pregnant as a result; especially if you are practicing abstinence, because you are most likely not using any kind of birth control, like an oral contraceptive or IUD, if you are not having sex.
I got may data here, if you would like more info:
There is also the adoption option. The problem with this is that a lot of people will make the decision to place their child for adoption and then revoke their decision at the last minute. I know what I am talking about here as I, myself, placed a child for adoption 16 years ago and let me tell you that it is a VERY HARD thing to do. A lot of people just cannot do it, no matter how unfit they (or their current situation) may be. Their kids may even get taken away from them at some later point because they are so unfit to be parents, thus creating more foster kids/orphans, but you are in a very emotional state directly after childbirth and it is very hard to hand your baby to another person and 'walk away', for lack of a better term. And, until you go to court - sometimes WEEKS OR MONTHS after the birth of the child, you still have the option to take that child back. This gives the birth parents even more opportunity to change their minds.
But let me just say, for anyone who may be out ther reading this facing an unwanted pregnancy, it is very fulfilling to have an open adoption. You get to choose the family by hand (you get to look at photo albums and then meet and spend time with the family), you get letters and photos. You can send birthday/holiday gifts, cards, letters, photos of yourself. You know where the child lives and who their parents are. While it still wrenches my heart to see the face of the child I gave up, I have never regretted the decision I made because he has a great life and I know that I could not have given him all that he now has and all the opportunities that he now has.
Anyone considering or facing this, please contact me (especially if you live in the sate of Michigan) and I would be happy to talk to you. It is a hard decision, but it is an alternative to an abortion (which I am not against at all, I want to add) and it can be done. Some adoption agencies are better than others, too, so really research your options.
Sorry this is so long, it's just a very hot topic for me.
I disagree with planned passing off our offspring to others. It is something I would never do. Offspring deserve to be with their biological parents, unless death/disease prevents it. I consider the very first right of an infant to be breast milk. Any other rights ensue from there.
An unwanted offspring should not be born.
Some people cannot have children of their own and adoption is their only option, whether they adopt children as babies, at birth or as foster children later in their young lives. Do these people NOT deserve to be parents, even though they are ready and willing to be parents and the biological parents were not ready? The perspective adtoptive parents I inerviewed were way more equipped to be parents than I was. They had the financial resources, they had a large enough house with room to grow, and most importantly they wanted children and could not have any of their own.
Some people cannot produce breast milk and have to look at other options; some babies are born lactose intolerant and have to be fed soy formula. Going by your logic, these babies should be left to starve because their parent cannot produce enough breast milk to adequately feed them, or the babies themselves are not able to digest the breast milk. That does not add up.
Does a child deserve to be in an abusive home environment, simply because they were born to parents who are inept to really be good parents? There are pleanty of would-be child abusers who do not believe in abortion. They are not going to abort thier child, but they are certainly going to abuse them after they are born.
Your black and white picture of the world does not really work, and your insensitiviy towards adoption shocks me.