You know I had an abruption of the placenta at 17 weeks pregnant, and I told them I planned on carrying my pregnancy through unless as long as it was the baby at harm and not my self. I would deal with problems with the child.
However I had another child who needed a mother. If my daughter had been born and I died, I would have had 2 children who needed a mother, I would have left my whole family my husband, siblings, god children, all of the things and people that make my life have a connection to this world, to allow a child to be born? A child who didn't have a connection?
Yes Life is a very special and beautiful thing and I love both of my children with everything that I am, however let me tell ya something, My life is the one that has the connections here, and my life is just as beautiful as an unborn fetus, if it is going to kill me.
Yes I trust doctors, and at the point they tell me it will kill me is the point I let them take over and do what needs to be done so that I can be here for my family..
I was willing to do anything to save my daughter but if they ever said it is you are the baby, I would have said take the baby, my other child needs me.. IF you think that makes me selfish ask my husband and my mother, and my sister, and my son how they feel about that.. See I am not the only one who was making that decision. I am not the only one whos feelings and emotions had to be considered there.
That was the decision, and honestly Joli, I am glad that mothers who are put in that position even in the third trimester has the right to make that decision. I don't like abortion either, however sometimes it is the only way that it keeps the one with an established life here.
My husband and my mother were very quick to point out to me that I was selfish for putting the unborn baby first if I did over myself. Due to the fact that I would be leaving 2 kids behind. I am grateful it never came to that decision and I think it was due to me and following orders of my doctors that it didn't.
But it was certainly something we were told to consider because if this went wrong or that went wrong, it could have caused many different scenarios.
Your story brought a tear to my eye, Jennifer. Thanks for relating it.
I don't know any person or group that is advocating on-demand 3rd trimester abortions for non-medical reasons. When it becomes a question of risking the mother's life that must be a decision made by the mother herself. An analogy that I saw once that really brought this home to me was that of an organ donation. Suppose your child needed a vital organ and the only donor who could be found in time to save their life was the child's mother. Would it be fair if the law said the mother has no choice in the matter and must give up her life in order to save the child?
I'm glad it didn't come to that for you but I think your decision was the right one.
Debates on late abortions are strictly a consequence of pro-lifers making a dent in abortion access... A first dent, leading to a second, a third, etc, until access to abortion is once again eroded. We are already on this path.
All abortions need to be at the request of the mother, no other being has any right deciding. A foetus is born when it is damn ready to be born, through various biochemical readiness signals, such as surfactant formation in the lungs.
No date before natural birth date, 9 months, give or take a week, is of any relevance. Premies are long term problems, their average health is lower than the rest of the population. Biologically viable and laboratory viable are two different ideas.
A woman's body does not suddenly not become her own to manage just because a foetus has become survivable by doctors. Anyone advocating against late term pregnancies should be forced to themselves rear those babies born under duress.
Thank you for that story Jennifer. Sorry for your loss. A note on the second to last paragraph, there are many people who would say you were or would have been selfish no matter which path you chose. In the end, when it's your life or the life of your unborn child in the balance, that is your choice to make, and no one should be able to judge you on that.