"How does one respond to such a mountain of bullshit served in one steaming mass?"
Two words: Walk away.
"I feel like I really should have stood up for science."
Only when the opposing party has proven themselves capable of independent thought, i.e. by being atheist. Otherwise it's just a waste of everyone's time.
The most important question remains: Did you get to fire any big guns? ;)
At a gun range? Not a rreeeeealy good place to get into a heated argument! Maybe go off-premises for a coffee and continue discussion?
The History Channel, TLC, The Science Channel and their ilk have decided to look at which side their bread is buttered on, and so you get shows about topics like aliens and ufo's, pawn shops, ice road truckers, "An Idiot Abroad" (entertaining, but on the Science Channel?), and others.
Even the serious shows go for controversial or scandalous angles.
They don't call it The Boob Tube for nothing and having hundreds and hundreds of channels hasn't made the choices any better.