I just saw this on a message board at ChristianMingle.com and am befuddled by it. It's a post from a woman in Albuquerque talking about her relationship expectations and troubles. What I REALLY can't even begin to imagine connecting is her description of her troubles and God's reason for them.

Posted: Today 10:49am replyquote
This really in response to sha's question about expectations being too high.

I was married with out God once... it was not good being married to an alcoholic and drug addict....didn't work out! I did receive an awesome Daughter from this marriage and two beautiful Grandsons.

Then I married again when I became a Christian. I married him because I thought God wanted me to and I had never even held hands with him before we married. It was a long distance relationship. He was a Minister however he had a mental illness that became much more pronounce in the last few years of our marriage. He became very violent and abusive and I ultimately had to go into a  Women's Shelter because he tried to kill me twice.

Now I did get a divorce after many months and many hours in court and much money being paid.....I would not have gotten into another relationship had he lived however he committed suicide at Thanksgiving of last year.

We were married for 38 years and very few of those years had any happiness.

I have questioned God about why did I have to go through all of this heartache and trial. The only thing that I have heard from my Lord is that it was a learning process for me and a testimony for others.

I also received a very beautiful Daughter from this marriage and three awesome Grandsons.

When I signed up for CM I had a long list of requirements in my mind for a companion and what kind of a relationship I wanted....I have dated some....had relationships with some and none have worked out well.

I then started looking at my expectations and have decided that God is the only one that will give me who and what I need...if indeed I am supposed to have someone in my life (especially since the world may end soon...lol...)

I have laid a fleece out before the Lord (read Judges 6) and if the one that does this one thing I have asked of the Lord (along with a few basic requirements such as them not being a scammer) then that is the one with which I will work hard to have a lasting Godly relationship.

My question to you is.....what do you think? Are our requirements too extensive, too demanding, too, ummmmmmm un-Godly?

I almost married someone I met here in CM but my Lord told me NO! (And I later found out that it was a very good thing that I did not marry him) So I know He is looking out for my best interests.

Am I close enough to my Lord and God to know now whether it is of Him or not? My focus at this point is to get so close to Jesus that when He says something I WILL hear and obey!

Sally Jo

HOW? How can a human mind make that kind of jump? I really want to understand, and I consider myself a critical thinker but I can't even speculate on the mental conditioning that would allow for a person to believe that the only possible reason for their suffering is that that's how God wanted them to learn. How is THAT appealing? And then she mentions that she suffered so that her experience can be a testimony to others. Is that supposed to give you a sense of purpose or something?

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