Last night I watched Gran Torino. If you haven't seen it, the gist is a old white man in the Mid-West who is racist learns to love a family of another race more than his own. The overall message is one that I can appreciate. One of my favorite quotes from college was a Anthropology professor stating that there are more differences within a group than there are between groups.
This morning I'm having breakfast with my wife and she is telling me a story about a couple that we saw at a party last night. He is Filipino and she is a white American. The wife had difficulty with the parents of her husband. They didn't accept her because she wasn't Filipina. The term used to describe the reasoning was "traditional". If I'm not mistaken I smell a euphemism here with an oder not unlike Horse Shit.
I'm a child of the 70's. The adult males in my life are into their 60's. I know what racism is and get that cringe when I hear that joke that goes too far. I'm not going to change my father or uncles. Their lack of sensitivity isn't something that I can break, but I can certainly call it what it is. He isn't "traditional". More importantly, while he can be insensitive, if I brought someone home of another culture, there would be zero rejection of that person. So why is it children of other cultures allow this behavior from their parents?
Persian men and women, in the US, date people outside of their culture until it's time to marry. The statement I'm forwarding is that they are happy to have fun but want to appease the family. How many Hindu or Sikh families mix with other cultures. Asians avoid dating other cultures but the inside joke among Asian women is they want to date a while man for the cultural differences. There are exceptions to rules, but the stereotype holds as a general truth.
My suggestion is that those who do cross the cultural lines, and have this issue, have a responsibility to call their families out for what they are. While we can't promise change of the older generations, the censuring has a chilling effect on furthering the hate to the next generation. Few parents would spend their lives raising a family just to let them ride off into the sunset over a racial issue. If they did, your children are better off for having not known them or their hate.