Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by scLovely on April 7, 2011 at 3:01am

I'll go first. If my husband told me that he was having sexual fantasies about him and another man, I would be proud of him for having opened his mind to the idea. At the same time, though, I would feel inferior to any male partner that he was attracted to. It would be hard to know that he wants something that I can't give him.

 I have been in sexual relationships with other women prior to my relationship with my husband. He considers it cheating, so it stopped when our relationship began, but he never had a problem with the fact that I had been involved in same-sex "activities".  Since I was able to explore myself and my sexuality, it wouldn't be right to deny him the opportunity to explore his. But like I stated in the previous thread, I would want our emotional relationship to remain exclusive.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Tiago Martins on April 8, 2011 at 4:06am

I'm not psichologist, but if I recall correctly, having homosexual fantasies is really just as normal as heterosexual. It's fantasies, not the actual deal, so it's a "seems better in my head" kind of deal. Now, if my partner ever had homosexual fantasies, I wouldn't mind the least, as long as she still felt emotionaly and physically actracted to me. As long as that condition is fulfilled, I would actually kind of "nurture" the fantasies. It's something different than the routine, and it could be healthy for our relation.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by scLovely on April 8, 2011 at 10:48am

You are probably recalling correctly. I would think that they are just as normal, but for some reason homosexuality still isn't accepted in our culture. This sucks because men (and less often women) find themselves having to suppress these fantasies and they sometimes feel ashamed for even having them.  I am sure that by suppressing the thoughts and feeling bad about them will have some very negative psychological effects, so I feel that it is very unhealthy to feel that way. My husband swears he has NEVER EVER had thoughts like that and my brother has always said the same. I find that highly unlikely because I think everyone is curious about it, but then again, I could be wrong. But being brought up down here, I can understand why they would never admit to it if they did have those kind of thoughts. Only one person in our high school was ever "accused" of being gay. The rumor went around that he was and suddenly no one had anything to do with him. He was VERY attractive, very sweet and, prior to this, he was very popular. Then suddenly it all changed and when you mentioned his name, the first thing out of their mouth was "He's a queer." or "Oh, you mean the fag?" People sometimes disgust me.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Billie-Jo Schuyler on April 17, 2011 at 12:37am

Before I settled down and got married I was bi-sexual, technically I guess I still am, I just wont cheat my husband no matter what so. He was/is ok with me having these fantasies and urges. And I would be ok with him having fantasies. Hell he can fantasize about anything he wants as long as it don't involve children or animals

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Gaetano on April 17, 2011 at 5:33am

I'd have no issues if my girlfriend was bi, but I wouldn't be in favour of her having in intimate and sexual relationship with another person, be them male or female, behind my back.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by scLovely on April 17, 2011 at 1:02pm

That is how my husband feels about it. I've always wondered why because most men claim that seeing two women together is some sort of fantasy.

• ▶ Reply