So... another discussion on here has led me to think about another topic that may spike some interest. This is just another one of my "out of curiousity" threads, but this one may be a topic that you have to think about for a moment before responding.
For those of you in heterosexual relationships:
If you found that your spouse was having lesbian, gay, or bi fantasies, would you think differently of them? Would you freak out and leave them or would you stay and work it out with them? Would you want them to suppress their curiousity or would you allow them to explore it?
For those of you in homosexual relationships:
If your partner/spouse was having hetero fantasies, would you think of them differently? Would you leave them or stay and work it out? Would you allow them to explore with partners of the opposite sex or would you want them to suppress their curiousity?
I'll go first. If my husband told me that he was having sexual fantasies about him and another man, I would be proud of him for having opened his mind to the idea. At the same time, though, I would feel inferior to any male partner that he was attracted to. It would be hard to know that he wants something that I can't give him.
I have been in sexual relationships with other women prior to my relationship with my husband. He considers it cheating, so it stopped when our relationship began, but he never had a problem with the fact that I had been involved in same-sex "activities". Since I was able to explore myself and my sexuality, it wouldn't be right to deny him the opportunity to explore his. But like I stated in the previous thread, I would want our emotional relationship to remain exclusive.
I'm not psichologist, but if I recall correctly, having homosexual fantasies is really just as normal as heterosexual. It's fantasies, not the actual deal, so it's a "seems better in my head" kind of deal. Now, if my partner ever had homosexual fantasies, I wouldn't mind the least, as long as she still felt emotionaly and physically actracted to me. As long as that condition is fulfilled, I would actually kind of "nurture" the fantasies. It's something different than the routine, and it could be healthy for our relation.
You are probably recalling correctly. I would think that they are just as normal, but for some reason homosexuality still isn't accepted in our culture. This sucks because men (and less often women) find themselves having to suppress these fantasies and they sometimes feel ashamed for even having them. I am sure that by suppressing the thoughts and feeling bad about them will have some very negative psychological effects, so I feel that it is very unhealthy to feel that way. My husband swears he has NEVER EVER had thoughts like that and my brother has always said the same. I find that highly unlikely because I think everyone is curious about it, but then again, I could be wrong. But being brought up down here, I can understand why they would never admit to it if they did have those kind of thoughts. Only one person in our high school was ever "accused" of being gay. The rumor went around that he was and suddenly no one had anything to do with him. He was VERY attractive, very sweet and, prior to this, he was very popular. Then suddenly it all changed and when you mentioned his name, the first thing out of their mouth was "He's a queer." or "Oh, you mean the fag?" People sometimes disgust me.
That is how my husband feels about it. I've always wondered why because most men claim that seeing two women together is some sort of fantasy.