A brave new adventure

It's official! I am now a "foster parent in process!!!!!" And I'm becoming available to take in my niece however I can be licensed for up to 4 kids (my bio son plus 3 more.) I still have a ways to go but I have completed all the initial training and paperwork. I'm working with a FABULOUS agency that is one of the best in the nation. They specialize in kinship caregiving and older kids (11-18). I will likely start out with teenage boys.

I'm so excited!!!!!!

Anyone else become a foster parent here?

2 members like this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Simon Paynton on January 20, 2017 at 9:50am

Nice one Belle! :-)

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Strega on January 20, 2017 at 2:20pm

Does this mean you won't be able to move state as you had intimated was your plan earlier? Does fostering limit you to remain in the state that permitted you to do this? I have no idea how the system works over here, but I thought fostering might have been a state based permission.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Belle Rose on January 20, 2017 at 3:35pm

Where there's a will there's a way. I never let bureaucratic complications stop me from pursuing what's right. I have a PhD in paperwork lol. If I want to move I'll move and figure out the details.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on January 20, 2017 at 5:40pm

Well done Belle. I am very happy for you. Your niece is very fortunate to have you.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Pope Beanie on January 20, 2017 at 11:14pm

Holy... minivan!

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Belle Rose on January 21, 2017 at 4:52pm

My little Honda Civic can seat 5 people lol

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by TJ on January 21, 2017 at 2:14pm

Teenage boys can be very challenging, as they are hormones with legs who feel like they should be treated as adults but are still kids.

Its a delicate balance.

I was never a foster parent, but was in foster care when taken from my parents for abuse from time to time...and, well, I was an easy kid...but I saw some not so easy kids.

All I can say is to maintain perspective, and DO NOT TAKE WHAT THEY SAY IN ANGER PERSONALLY.

Respond, don't react, perhaps, is your new mantra.

They will (WILL) test you. If you come back with ANY reply that is negative, "you're made"...and will never be trusted.

The test may be calling you a whore, etc...and if you had been abused, being insulted etc, can make you have an emotional reaction...that you HAVE to squelch.

They may even wait to find your hot buttons, things that can set you off....they are smart that way.

If in the system long enough to be teens...they will NOT give you the benefit of the doubt...you have to earn their trust.

Think about YOUR scar tissue, and, try to imagine THEIRS.

If YOUR scar tissue is seen as why you have empathy for THEIRS, you earn respect and trust...and evidence that what they are suffering from IS RECOVERABLE FROM.

You are then their role model/inspiration to TRY.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Belle Rose on January 21, 2017 at 4:50pm

I used to be a corrections officer. I know all about that TJ haha! See I know I can do it. I'm taking a ton of classes to shore up the holes in my knowledge. My niece may or may not end up being placed with me but if the opportunity arises I will be ready. And as for the teenagers...I am prepared. I've already learned a TON with my own son. Quite frankly there is a very good chance the foster kids will be EASIER than my son to manage. As I was sitting in class yesterday I was very bugged by the fact that everything they were describing about kids who have suffered abuse...It was describing me and him. But that's why we are totally ahead in so many ways! My social worker said that too! He could see it. We are ready. I know ALLLL about crisis management to the point now where nothing is a crisis and nothing is too scary to deal with.