Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jon Heim on January 20, 2011 at 4:15am

I wouldnt be the one to decide. I'd let us all die first proably. lol But I'll use you're list:

 

number of children

age

weight

race

...in that order.

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Permalink Reply by justin gold on January 21, 2011 at 7:11am

hey Jon, race shouldn't even be on the list in this day and age,I'm shocked people would even think of it.

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Permalink Reply by Jaume on January 20, 2011 at 11:30am

If I were American, I'd call my lawyer and sue the balloon manufacturer for not having a kind of scarecrow installed onboard.

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Permalink Reply by Timothy Gentle on January 20, 2011 at 12:28pm

Throw the strongest overboard (excluding myself) so that if worst comes to worst and we're still too heavy, they'd have a harder time getting me in the drink.

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Permalink Reply by Jaume on January 20, 2011 at 12:39pm

If that's still not enough, you can always try the Serbian dive.

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Permalink Reply by Timothy Gentle on January 22, 2011 at 4:44pm

You'd need a somewhat bouncy character, there's quite a few sharks to kill...

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Permalink Reply by Jaume on January 22, 2011 at 5:21pm

You could try to combine the Serbian Dive and the Bond Croc Jump. Requires a bit of practice though...

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Permalink Reply by Timothy Gentle on January 22, 2011 at 5:46pm

Yes, but this would require a consistant line of crocs or, in this case sharks, all the way to the shore which is stated at quite some distance. I'm sure you noticed how many attempts that smaller stunt you posted took.

Another alternative could be to use the material of the ballon and the basket as a raft, disposing of any metal parts upon contact with the water and using the cloth as a skin, a support. Any air trapped between skin and water surface would aid the balloon raft to float and provide quite an awkward target for sharks considering the angle of their mouth. even if they bite the side they would find it hard to cause any real damage as they would only pull the material and neither leak air nor cause harm to the passengers. Additionally, any bashing devices available could be use to dicourage any prospective sharks as they would cause a clear bump in the sheet.

 

Although deployment would still be an issue... any ideas?

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Permalink Reply by Erik H. Brush on January 20, 2011 at 11:32pm

Well as a marine biologist who specializes in elasmobranchs (Sharks, skates, and rays) I would have to ask what kind of sharks are they?

 

I know you are trying to make a moral analogy but actually it's a poor choice of subject. If you are close enough to make it to shore in a swim (and in fact to drift in to shore potentially) then you are not dealing with the pelagic species of sharks such as the Oceanic Whitetip, Blue Shark, Bronze Whaler, etc. Those tend to be bolder and more dangerous.

 

   Now since you can see the sharks clearly we shall assume this is day time which means that (in spite of ignorant fear-mongering nonsense spread by Hollywood, and folks making ridiculous morality observations using the shark as a culprit) the sharks are most likely harmless species and thus I would not feel guilty tossing anyone who could swim out to join me in a dip and casual swim to the shore. (Trust me, if they can clearly see us and the swimming is steady and not erratic we have little to fear). In fact if they cannot or will not join me, I would jump out and swim to shore, then have shore patrol or other services tow in the gondola.

 

Maybe next time you could use an actual danger in your analogy. Like fire, or a polar sea etc and leave perpetuating unfounded stereotypes about sharks to Hollywood.

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Permalink Reply by Jonel Burge on January 21, 2011 at 4:04am

Would a lake of acid, of roughly 1-2 on the PH scale, work?

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Permalink Reply by Jaume on January 21, 2011 at 6:45am

Substituting mothers-in-law for the sharks should be enough.

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Permalink Reply by Timothy Gentle on January 22, 2011 at 6:00pm

The year is 3504. Humanity has spread it fingers throughout the universe and now controls many planets. On a voyage to Ethna 56 one person aboard your Toyota StarStripper gets ill. Your problem is that Ethna is not colonised by humans but by a somewhat xenophobic race of aliens who, after much debate with missionaries developed a strange way of life and now demand a sacrifice to allow you to land your craft. Shortly before landfall the sacrifice who got ill (without knowing their own purpose I hasten to add) dies. Ethnians are able to tell if the person jettisoned from your ship is alive upon release and so you can not use them for their intended purpose anymore. You could try and land anyway, but the Ethnian gun batteries are powerful enough to have disposed of the Garnathlians. And their entire planet. In shortly under 10 minutes. It was some religious bullshit again. Anyway, they're pretty good so without the sacrifice you will all be fried. You can sacrifice the following people:

 

The Cook: At 72 she's a lovely old lady with a gorgeous assortment of recipes at her disposal and often bakes cakes for her many grand-children. There is a food replicator on board but that stuff is just plain gross.

 

The Navigator: Aged around 25, he recently graduated from Galaschool and joined the commercial fleet. You could technically do his job on the return journey, but it would be tricky.

 

The passenger: Aged around 40 this man is at the peak of his business career. Killing him would cause little harm to others but his partners WILL seek revenge.

 

Yourself: You're the pilot. Are you insane? How else will they get home? Pilots are worth a lot these days.

 

Howzat? No sharks! :D

 

That was fun to write...

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